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microfiches 

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Canadian  Instituta  for  Historical  Microraproductions  /  Institut  Canadian  da  microraproductions  hittoriquas 


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This  Htm  Is  f  ilnwd  at  th«  reduction  ratio  chacktd  below  / 

Ca  tfoctimant  aat  fttin^  au  taux  ^a  reduction  inAQU^  ci'daaaous. 

10x  14x  18x  22x  26x  30x 

I   I   \   I   I   I   I   I   \   \   \   TFl   I   I   I   I   \  \ 


12x  16x  20x  24x  2te  32x 


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York  University 
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conformit*  avec  lea  condWofW  du  contrat  da 
filmage. 

Las  axempiairea  originaux  dont  la  couvarture  en 
pepier  est  imprimto  sont  fllmte  en  commandant 
par  le  premier  plat  at  en  terminant  soit  par  la 
darnlAre  page  qui  comporte  une  empreinte 
d'impression  ou  d'illustration.  soit  par  la  second 
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premiere  page  qui  comporte  une  empreinte 
d'impression  ou  d'illustrstion  et  en  terminant  par 
la  darnlAre  pa^  qui  comporta  una  taUa 
empreinte. 

Un  des  symboles  suivants  apparattra  sur  la 
derniire  image  de  cheque  microfiche,  selon  le 
cas:  le  symbols       signifia  "A  SUiVRE".  la 
aymbola  ▼  aignifia  'FIN". 

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filmAa  A  daa  taux  do  rAduction  diff Arantt. 
Loraqua  le  document  est  trop  grand  pour  Atre 
reproduit  en  un  soul  clichA,  11  est  filmA  A  partir 
da  I'angie  supArieur  gauche,  de  gauche  A  droite, 
et  de  haut  en  bos,  en  prenant  le  nombre 
d'imagae  nAcessaira.  Las  diagrammaa  suivanta 
IHiMtrant  la  mAthoda. 


1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

BY  EDMUND  VANCE  COOKE 

RiniM  to  ba  Rwd.  Verae*  of  Character, 
Hanaeraafl  PUloMpliy.  Cfelli,$1.S0. 

ClffMiicle*  of  the  Littio  Tot   Poana  of 
Childhood.  Cletfi.tl.Sa 

Told  to  tho  Littio  Tot     Sterios  for 
CUMnb.  CleA,$lM. 

Dodgo  Publuhing  Company 
40-42  Eaat  19th  Straot,  Now  Yorii 


Rimes  to  Be 
Read 


By 

Bdmund  Vance  Cooke 
A-'Hw  of  'XhronldM  of  At  UtOc  Tot" 


N«w  York 
Dodge  Publishing  Compeiqr 
40  Bast  xgdi  Street 


NOTB. 


THE  author  takes  pleasure  in  expressing  his 
obligations  to  the  "New  York  Sun."  "Cleve- 
land Presa."  '^cago  Kecord-Herald.'*  '*8t 
Nicholas,"  "Youth's  Companion,"  "Journal  of  Edu- 
cation," "Saturday  Evening  Post,"  "What-  o-Eat," 
"New  York  Herald,"  "Truth,"  "MetropoUtan  Maga- 
alae  *  "Puck,"  "Haw  York  CUppar."  "Tha  DaUaaa- 
tor,"  "Lippincott's,"  "Smart  Set,"  "Munsey's"  and 
the  papers  of  the  Newspaper  Enterprise  Asaocia* 
ticn,  vrtiich  various  publications  first  presented  moat 
of  Aaaa  vwaaa  ia  print 

In  the  present  volume,  an  even  half  of  the  titles 
appeared  in  the  former  editions  of  the  book,  four 
<rf  tiMHB  ara  from  "A  Piitdi  of  Pamiaa,"  and  twei^ 
ris  of  ttiam  have  aevar  batof*  baaa  between  covera. 

B.  V.  C. 


I 


THESE 

"RIMES  TO  BE  READ," 

•re  inscribed  to  their  readers, 
public  or  private. 


DO. 


CONTENTS. 

Tales,  Grave  and  Gay   13 

Qnaint  Chatacten  65 

HoaM-Made  Fhiloao^   1x3 

Variont  Veraaa   137 


•TM  GLAD  TO  SEE  YOU." 

FOLKS  are  often  f^M  to  mMt  other  folln,  you 
know, 

But  they  iometoies  faltw  wh«i  It  eomti  to  nying 

so; 

Or  they  say,  I'm  glad  f  see  y*,"  O,  lo  oirt  and  low 
That  you  wonder  jn«t  how  fat  Uidr  gtMOaoam  fad- 
ings go. 

Say  "I'm  glad  to  aee  you,"  when  y«m  mean  it.  Speak 
it  out;   ^ 

Don't  bite  off  a  piece  of  it  and  l«?e  tha  reat  to 
doubt. 

Let  your  Ui»  know  what  your  aoul  ia  thinktnff  moat 
about 

It  doesn't  teke  an  orator  to  say  the  sentence  right; 
It  doesn't  need  much  rhetoric  to  malce  you  feel  its 
might; 

It  has  a  hundred  hundred  tongaea  which  teU  ita 
meaning  quite. 

You  feel  it  when  you're  going  home  and  catch  the 

window  Ui^t, 
You  see  it  in  a  sweatheart'a  snule,  flashmg  warm 

and  bright. 


<") 


PKOEM. 


lit  in  a  mother's  morning  Uw  and  in  tiM  last  at 


And  baby's  little  reaching  arms  eiq^ess  Ae  same 

delight 

"Glad  to  see  you!"  O,  you  friends  of  dead  yesterday. 
Could  we  only  hear  it  from  your  dear  lips  far  away; 
Could  we  tell  it  into  ears  which  mini^e  now  with 


We  might  gain  that  fuller  meaning  tridch  tiie  rimplc 
words  convejr* 

8^,  "I'm  glad  to  see  yon,"  tiisn,  to  tiioaa  who  still 
are  here. 

Say  it  with  that  meaning  wliich  is  nmsiG  to  A*  car. 
More  than  simply  say  it;  words  ar«  dia^p^  bat  dsedi 
are  dear; 

And  men  will  say  it  back  to  joa  mai  nudn  tistir 
meaning  dear. 


night, 


clay. 


(xa) 


RIMES    TO    BE  READ. 


THE  STORY  OF  OLD  GLORY. 

T  TELL  a  tale  which  is  not  new, 

^  But,  O,  as  long  as  truth  i&  true. 

As  long  as  Freedom  sets  the  pme» 

Of  progrcM  for  the  hiunan  nee. 

As  long  as  it  it  onr  intent 

That  AM  shall  be  the  Government, 

As  long  as  Rights  of  Man  shall  be 

The  heritage  of  you  and  me 

As  long  as  unslaved  thoui^t  is  dear. 

So  long  will  all  men  pause  to  hear. 

The  motf  ci  Old  (Sorj. 

In  seventeen  iev«nty>six  its  red 

First  from  the  liatnc  son  is  shed; 

In  seventeen       ity-sis  its  wUie 

First  blends  along  the  gladdened  li|^; 

Its  thirteen  starry  gems  of  heaven 

Flash  forth  in  loyal  seventy-seven. 

O,  not  of  warp  and  woof  and  djre 

Is  bom  Oat  bniner  of  tiie  skyi 

It  forms  from  out  the  heart  and  brain 

Of  Patrick  Henry.  Franklin,  Paine! 

It  floats  out  proud  ami  high  and  free 

In  sools  of  Otis.  Adams,  Leei 

Of  Quincy,  ffliennan,  Jeffertcml 

Of  Hancock,  Warren,  WasUmtonl 

And  so  in  valor  is  begun 

The  story  of  Old  OHocy. 
(is) 


DO: 


Then  Gage,  Howe,  Clinton  and  Burgoyne 

And  Heusians  hired  by  British  coin; 

Cornwallis.  with  hi*  lordly  crett, 

Rhal,  Tai    on,  Parker  and  the  rest. 

Strive  hard  to  blot  that  flag  from  sight 

But,  armored  in  their  sense  of  right, 

Come  Putnam,  Prescott,  Allen,  Stark, 

Men  of  a  atrong  and  sturdy  mark; 

Come  Ward.  Montgomery,  Schuyler,  Greene, 

And  all  the  list  which  lies  between. 

From  Marion  to  LaFayette. 

Kl^t  gallantly  the  foe  is  met  I 

They  make  the  flag  acknowledged  free, 

P«r  kingcraft'a  rule  ia  not  to  be 

The  story  of  Old  (Mory. 


In  times  of  war  or  times  of  peace. 
Its  marches  onward  never  cease. 
'Tis  borne  by  Clark  and  Lewis  on 
To  far-off  shores  of  Oregon. 
It  floats  on  Fidton's  boat,  ^ch  stMon 
First  forces  up  against  the  stream 
And  seel  how  on  the  air  it  rides 
In  triumph  o'er  Old  Ironsides. 
Tin  borne  by  Perry  on  the  Lakes 
And  proud  defiance  bravely  shakes 
From  Tripoli  to  Mexico  I 
Not  always  right,  too  wdl  we  know. 


(i6) 


\ 


RXMB8   TO   BB  RBAD 


/ 


But  all  the  more,  then,  must  we  care 
That  no  q;>preation  more  shall  share 

Th*  irtonr  of  Old  (Hofy. 


Then  comes  the  time  its  own  stem  sons 

Turn  on  it  their  revolted  guns. 

But  though  Lee  musters  gallant  horde, 

VnOi  Jackson's  swift  and  sudden  sword, 

Vnth  J^mston'a  cool  and  cunning  skill. 

With  Bragg  and  Longstrccf  a  strenaotn  wiSl; 

Though  Morgan  makes  audacious  dash, 

Though  Stuart  seems  the  lightning  flash. 

Though  Hood's  impetnous  men  are  hurled 

And  Pickett's  charge  astounds  th«  wmrld. 

Yet — Grant  and  Appomattox  come. 

And  stifled  is  the  warlike  drum. 

Even  in  the  hour  when  loyal  Grief 

Moans  bjr  the  body  of  The  Chief, 

The  monster.  Civil  Hate.  Is  slain: 

State  clasps  the  hand  of  Stat*  again. 

And,  from  the  rock-bound  coasta  of  Main* 

To  every  sunlit  Texan  plain, 

Thar*  echoes  back  but  one  refrain: — 


Still  floats  the  flag  I  Its  stars  increase 
Through  the  triumphant  times  of  peace. 
StiU  floata  tiw  flag-4n  'seventy-sis» 
Whan  aU  4u  nations  intermix 


The  story  of  Old  Glory. 


<X7) 


XIMESTOBBSIAD. 


In  honor  of  our  liberty. 

Still  floats  the  flag  in  'ninety-three, 

When  mankind  comes  from  earth  and  Mt 

To  that  Dream  City  of  the  West, 

Where  Art  and  Marvel  greet  the  gnest 

Still  floats  the  flag  in  'ninety-eight 

To  free  the  serfs  of  Spanish  hate. 

And,  gladdened  by  the  smiling  May, 

From  Cuba  floats  the  flag  away  I 

More  honored  with  its  proud  folds  furled. 

And  faith  redeemed  before  the  world, 

Than  tho'  it  floated  wide  and  far 

In  hideous,  tho'  successful,  war. 

And  is  our  honor  less  of  worth 

In  other  islands  of  the  earth? 

Nay!  this  our  motto!    We  are  strong, 

And  strength's  best  use  is  righting  wrong. 

So  be  it  tdd  in  wptth  and  aongl— 

The  story  of  Old  GBory. 

I  Know  that  we  are  told  its  red 
Is  of  the  blood  its  heroes  shed. 
Its  white  the  smoke  of  battle  air. 
Its  blue  th.i  garb  its  soldiers  wear; 
But  O,  believe  not  that  its  stars 
Are  only  bursting  shells  of  wars! 
Believe  not  that  its  re   and  white 
But  symbolise  the  stripes  wfaidi  smitet 
Nay,  rather  think  those  stars  are  ejfM, 
Btamal,  godlike,  of  the  skies; 

(»») 


THE  ANARCHIST. 


Y^S,  Wallace  Wright  was  an  anarchiat.  Nay, 
*     sir,  hold  back  your  blame; 
And  pause,  O  woman  of  high  degre*,  befora  yoa  cry 
his  shama; 

An^  >  DO,  fair  maid  with  tfM  apQiOua  tool,  Ariak  not 
before  his  name. 

But  why  for  Anarchy?   Would  he  turn  th*  world 

from  its  ways  of  work? 
Woold  he  make  the  scholar  a  iirfni».M.  cr  tiM  80- 

Uught  ditcher  clerk? 
Did  he  covet  the  honest  apoil  of  toU,  Unatlf  con. 

tent  to  shirk? 

Listm  and  know.  1  think  not  so,  and  yet  it  wtO 

might  be, 

VnSt  a  boyhood  spent  at  a  tMridag  baodi  inataod' 

of  a  mother's  knee; 
With  tm  hoars  toiling  daUy       a  pittance,  year  by 

Foe  diUdrtii  are  maay  and  cheap,  my  friends,  and 
daUara  acayce  and  dsar. 

Tat  ha  did  not  coarsen  in  mind  ct  heart,  that  kin  or 

comrades  saw. 
But  ha  worked,  he  thrived,  matured  and  wived  and 

MiU  ha  bdiavad  hi  law. 


Jftp  softest  wish  wti  ■  law  to  Um,  wd  mttt  m» 

tlM  hard-won  bread, 
Aad  tbt  UMiWut  OMB  In  an  Um  dMpa  was  Wallaea 

WiCiW  tbey  Mid. 


iBl  the  timee  grew  hard  and  the  waft  was  cut,  and 

amid  the  ensuing  striie 
The  irat  VImk  ahadow     AmtOv  caoM  into  oar 

workman's  life,  ,  

For  his  bench-mate  there,  in  the  shop,  was  one  from 

the  far-off  Volga's  side, 
Who  had  seen  his  sister  dragged  to  shame  and  his 

iatfier  aeoorgad  tUl  ha  dad. 
Who  had  seen  his  modMT  fo  taviag  aaad,  had  aean 

it  all  dry-eyed, 
And  then  he  had  sworn  such  an  oath  of  oaua  wat 

the  depths  of  hell  replied. 

And  WaUace  was  stirred  by  the  Rnssian  and  hon- 
estly shared  his  grief. 

Bat  would  not  hear  of  the  Red  Rrfdrai,  wiHi  ha 
proadsa  of  swift  relief— 

KtUef  from  the  grinding  greed  of  man,  from  l3am 
wrongs  of  class  and  state. 

Relief  from  a  hundred  things  he  saw,  wW»  Aa  fer- 
vor of  honest  hate. 

Yes,  he  knew  hid  own  and  his  fellows'  wrongs,  and 
Us  very  wol  grow  sore. 

Bat  what  of  crat?  It  was  aU  forgot  triwn  he  antarad 
his  cottage  door. 

<«) 


Then  the  times  waxed  worse  and  they  let  men  go, 

and  Wallace  among  the  rest. 
Discharged  for  liis  long,  hard  service  I  for  it  made 

hia  wage  tiie  beat. 
And  the  high  must  go  to  retain  the  low,  when  price 

is  the  crucial  test. 
No  work!  'tis  a  thought  to  rebuke  the  heart  for  ite 

dance  witliin  the  breast 
No,  not  for  you  who  read  his  word  and  think  of  a 

thousand  friends, 
Nor  you  with  a  dozen  talents,  all  pat  on  your 

Engers'  ends. 
But  for  liim  who  Icnowa  but  to  do  one  thing,  and 

who  earns  no  more  than  he  spends. 
Work,  constant  work,  is  the  needful  thing  on  iridch 

his  life  depends. 


Then  the  Russian  cane. 


"Are  you  rea^T  ooiw  to  niai^  witii  Fkae- 
dom's  set?* 

But  Wallace  had  only  gravely  smiled  and  had  shaken 

his  head:  "Not  yet." 
Then  day  by  day  he  sought  for  work.   Do  :'0U  im- 

derstand?   He  sought. 
As  no  man  ever  nought  gold  or  fame,  for  Mlr-mA 

he  (oond  not 


(aa) 


RIMES    TO    BE  READ. 


The  quick,  curt  word,  tiie  rough  rebuff,  the  eardett 

sign  of  the  head. 
Were  his  till  his  face  was  sharp  with  care  and  his 
heavy  heart  like  lead. 

And  every  night  when  he  sought  Ma  home,  wiA  n 

aching,  haunting  dread, 

His  wife  looked  up.  She  spoke  no  word,  but  mourn- 
fully drooped  her  head 

To  hide  the  fear  of  her  mother-heart,  the  fear  thav 
would  not  be  gone: 

11-.e  fear  for  the  babe  unborn,  whom  want  already 
laid  clutches  on. 

Then  there  came  a  day  when  they  had  to  face  the 

terrible  word,  "Vacate!" 
The  owner  was  "Sorry  of  course,  but  than,  that 

didn't  keep  the  estate." 

And  the  Russian  came. 

"Are  you  ready,  Wri^t?"   "Not  yatl*  be 
gaspcu,  "not  yet! 
X  have  still  my  wife  and  hope  and  Ufei  and  there 
must  be  work  to  get." 

A  wretched  hovel  received  them.   They  strogiM 

from  bad  to  worse. 
Till  death  seemed  only  happiness  and  life  was  the 

gfsater  corse. 

(•3) 


And  then  she  sickened:  her  life  cbbid,  cbbe^  and 

nevermore  turned  its  tide. 
And  Wallace  had  only  wildly  pn^ed  that  he  ini^t 

be  laid  at  her  side. 
Vat  he  knew  the  had  «ed  from  cruel  want,  in  a 

fruitful,  generous  -^arth; 
And  the  quiet  babe  at  her  side,  he  knew,  was 

■tarved  before  its  btetii. 

And  dw  Rudan  came. 

"Well,  WalUce  Wright,  are  you  still  content 

with  life? 

You  talked  to  me  of  Sode^s  claim,  and  Society 

killed  yonr  wife. 
Society  grinds  and  kills  as  all,  and  yoa  will  not 

make  it  rue  it. 
Yob  talked  to  me  of  yoor  God,  "ad  He—He  let  So* 

ciety  do  it" 

Can  yon  blame  the  man,  who,  in  wild  despair, 
pressed  lips  to  the  lips  of  his  dead 

And  arose  and  looked  at  the  Russian?  "Lead  jnt 
I  wiU  go,"  he  said. 


A  month  had  passed  and  the  Red  Refwm  to  wUA 

he  had  joined  his  fate 
Had  issued  its  edict  against  a  mm  who  had  earned 

its  cmd  hata— 


t 


Who  had  earned  its  hate,  for  hia  wealth  was  used  to 

oppraaa  and  net  to  raise; 
And  the  sterner  die  bargain  in  flesh  and  blood,  the 

more  waa  Ua  own  aeU-pcriae. 

And  hence  the  decree  of  tiie  Red  Reform,  with  fifty 

men  in  the  plot. 
Where  forty  and  nine  had  voted  "Kill!*'  and  one 

had  voted  not 
That  one  70a  know,  yet  his  name  was  first  to  be 

drawn  in  tiie  fatefoi  lot. 
And  his  Russian  friend  wai       aaeood,  ao  the  Red 

Reform  decreed 
That  the  monster  yield  his  liia  to  man,  and  Uiat 

these  two  do  the  deed." 

Twma  the  fated  day— a  holiday  and  the  noiay 

throng  poured  out, 
Pidl-fed  with  the  chaff  of  cheers  and  Jaara,  of  the 

aoonding  laui^  and  shout. 
In  dwt  strange  way  tiist  •  world  is  gay,  all  heeOaaa 

of  iriiBt  abewti 

TlMn  down  the  street  came  the  day'a  evMrt,  Aa  |^ 

tering  grand  parade, 
And  Wallace  knew  that  the  mni  tiwy  aooi^  waa 

one  of  the  cavalcade. 
That  nan  waa  tfie  man  for  whom  hia  brew  had 

sweat  widi  tiie  wet  of  years. 
Who  had  drained  his  life  of  hope  and  joy  and  left 

diara  want  and  tears, 
(35) 


RIMES   TO  BE 


Who  had  taken  work  from  hi*  hand  when  work  was 

another  name  for  life. 
Who  had  taken  his  home  from  his  head— from  hers 

—who  had  killed,  yes,  kitted  his  wife. 
Half  dazed,  half  crazed,  stood  Wallace  Wright,  with 

the  single  thought  in  his  head 
That  the  life  of  this  man  of  plenty  would  pay  for 

his  stricken  dead. 

Then  the  Russian  said:  "When  the  carriage  comes 

to  tiie  crossing  just  below, 
You  spring  and  seize  the  horses'  heads  and  I  will 

deal  the  blow; 
llien  shout:  'This  much  for  the  Red  Reform  1'  but 

if  I  should  chance  to  miss. 
As  soon  as  I'm  clear  of  the  caniage  you  finish  the 

work  wiA  tiiis.** 

And  The  Deed  came  near  and  nearer,  triien,  dose  " 

at  his  side,  a  child 
Cried  out  her  baby  greeting,  and  the  doomed  man 

looked  and  smiled 
And  flur  5  from  his  glove  a  kiss,  as   f  love  unselfish 

and  undcfiled. 

Lot  tile  purpose  of  Wallace  vanished,  like  the  dark 

before  the  sun. 
At  the  love  in  the  wee  child's  laughter  and  the 

thought  if  The  Deed  were  dons 

(a6) 


How  siw  woald  be  robbed  h  he  hiril  been  and  dw 

sweet  face  ^narred  with  grief, 
How  a  hate  would  fill  the  little  soul  for  him,  who 

had  been  tfw  mO. 


Yet  Awe  was  his  friend,  tfw  Soaaian.  no  canae 

should  make  betray; 
And  there  Wi.  -  the  man  who  had  wronged  him,  who 

blii^ted  the  summer  day. 
A  moment  of  wavering  ai^pdah,  a  moment  of  doubt 

and  dread. 

Then,  disregarding  the  passing  steeds,  he  sprang  for 

his  friend  instead. 
But  the  terrible  knife  was  naked;  it  gUttered,  it 

roae,  It  aank, 

Bnt  it  did  not  find  ita  target;  twaa  Wallace's  blood 

it  drank, 

WUe  the  crowd  closed  in  on  the  Raaaian,  who 

fought  them  front  and  flank. 
V^tli  curses  and  cries  and  blows  tiiey  doeed; 

Wright  madly  strove  to  save  him; 
Waa  seised,  was  bound,  and  on  him  they  found  the 

benib  dwt  die  Kaaaiaa  gave  bin. 


The  teat  is  simply,  qdddy  told.  Thgf  aeented 
deeper  plot 

And  offered  Wallace  a  pardon's  br&a,  bvt  ha  an* 
awered  them,  "For  what? 

<«7) 


RIMES   TO   BE  READ. 


Do  you  think  I  would  bring  another  here  to  eaw  or 

share  my  lot? 
Betray  a  friend  for  a  pardon?   For  a  thonaand  I 

wonld  not. 

Though  you  keep  me  ban  in  iiriaon  waUa  till  tliajr 

or  I  shaU  rotl" 
So  they  juried  and  judged  him  guilty  and  gavt  Urn 

the  law'a  extent. 
And  all  of  his  wronga  re-woke  in  him  and  his  inmost 

soul  was  rent. 
Yet  he  smiled  to  the  Russian  a  sad  "Good-by,"  as 

into  Ilia  call  he  went 


He  did  not  hear  the  confesdon  tiiat  dw  other'a 

tongue  poured  out, 
Aa^  with  culm  and  clear  concisenete  which  the  list- 
eners could  not  doubt, 
He  told  the  atwy  of  WaUace:  how  the  workdiop 

thrust  him  out; 
Of  all  the  bitter  battle;  of  how  it  had  come  about 
He  had  cast  his  lot  with  the  Red  Reform;  how, 

alone,  he  plead  for  life 
Fw  At    M  the  dan  had  awom  ahotdd  fie;  and  at 

last  he  had  stopped  the  knife 
With  his  own  rag-covered  bosom;  how  he  even 

then  proved  true 
To  him  who  had  pierced  liia  body,  though  with  un> 

Intmt,  Ood  knewl 

(»•) 


"And  this  it  the  man,"  uid  the  Rmsiaii,  "yen  hcve 

dared  to  condemn — ^you,  you — 
By  the  Lord!  no  soul  in  all  the  whole  of  your  Mam- 

mon-Berving  crew 
Sheold  thinli  it  oth«r  tfan  honor  to  latch  that  hero's 

shoel" 

And  then  they  remembered  hii  boyhood  days,  re- 
membered his  manhood  shown 

In  a  hundred  kindly,  aimplo  acta  amongat  paopla  ha 
had  known. 

Remembered  dw  Ruaaba^a  atocy,  yaa^  CfW  •  trifla 

more; 

Why,  even  the  man  whose  life  ha  aanrad,  aiM,  'V* 

wasn't  bad,  at  the  core!" 
So  the  Governor  sent  a  pardon  and  they  opened  hia 

grated  door 

And  found  him  as  dead  as  the  pitiless  stone  which 
f ormad  Ua  priaop  floofi 

They  said  that  his  wound  had  bled  within.  I  deid>t 

it  not  Ah  mel 
Tliere's  many  a  wound  which  bleeds  within  we 

haven't  tiie  trick  to  aee. 
But  they  said  tl>  t   N  face  wore  a  smile  of  gfaea. 

Wa*-  it  joy    .  ^  :»pe  from  earA? 
Or  w        !or  v         \i  that  little  ooa^  iHddi  had 

•carved  K  c;    i.^  birth? 


(>B) 


CONNOR  McCarthy. 


AH.  cud  narnin',  sir,  'dade  and  I'm  hearty 
"  and  glad  that  the  weather  is  fine. 
Sure  it  isn't  ould  Connor  McCarthy  that's  goin'  to 

mope  and  to  whine 
BacMMe  ha  can't  make  the  world  over.   Yta,  air, 

Oat's  me  bit  of  a  place. 
Sore  I  love  every  leaf  on  dia  dovar  and  knoir 

cvRxy  buttercup'a  face. 


"Dan  sayi  its  a  toomble-down  shanty,  and  not  fit  to 

live  in,  says  Lou; 
So  thejr're  pasrin'  me  board.  They  have  planty  and 

both  of  'em  fraa  wid  it,  too. 
And  I'm  takin'  me  sup  where  they  bid  me,  but  most 

of  the  time  111  be  found 
Kght  here,  where  there's  nobody  wid  nw— or  no* 

body  still  on  the  ground. 


"Of  coarse  it's  an  ould  fellow's  notion,  and  yet  I'm 

half  thinkin'  It's  true 
That  the  girl  I  brought  over  the  ocean  is  a-doin'  her 

waitin'  bera,  too. 
Tb€  childer  aea  no  eaaae  far  smrrow  and  say  Fm 

a-wcakenin'  fast, 
9at  young  peoide  live  fer  to-morrow,  «M1«  ould 

ptopla  live  fer  the  past 


RIHKS   TO   BE  READ. 


0 


"The  girl  I  brought  over  wu  Mary— my  Mary, 

God's  peace  to  her  soul  I 
And  never  a  word  went  contrary  and  never  a  heart* 

ache  but  stole 
Stnii^t  back  to  the  land  it  was  bom  in,  afraid  of 

the  peace  in  her  eyea, 
Syei  soft  as  the  stars  of  the  mondn*  and  blae  wid 

the  blue  of  the  skies. 

"And  never  a  worriment  found  me,  but  Mary's  kisa 

laid  it  to  rest. 
And  iHiin  her  two  anna  went  around  me.  Z  held  all 

tiM  world  to  me  breaati 
Yob  amile        because  I'm  revealin*  what  moat  ^ 

u  ;         But  it's  true. 
And  anrel^         know  that  same  fealin*,  vt  alaa 

well,  liod's  mercy  on  you! 

"I  loved  her.   I  envied  har  ahadow  becanaa  it  could 

lay  at  her  feet. 
While  I,  wid  the  stock  ia  the  m'adow  or  down  la 

the  com  and  the  wheat, 
Waa  workin'  f  er  bread  far  tiia  darHa'.  And  dia  waa 

as  jealously  warm 
And  vowed  she  waa  often  fer  quarrcUn'  wid  tiie  coat 

tiiat  waa  touchin'  me  arm. 

"And  so  we  lived  on  here  together,  as  happy  as 

childer  at  play, 
Hn  Danny  was  bom,  sir,  and  wbetiter  I  blessed  or 
regretted  the  day 


(31) 


I  eoaldii*t  hart  told  at  year  Uddn'.  IlevadOewa* 

broth  of  •  boy 
At  he  lay  there,  all  awaddUd  and  hidden^ten 
ptmada,  air,  of  gasniiie  joyi 

"And  yet  even  joy  goaa  contrary  and  taaa  a  best  aida 
and  a  worat. 

Far  aoon  I  waa  aacond  to  Mary  and  Danny  the  baby 
was  first 

What!  jealous,  you  say,  of  a  baby?   That  baby  me 

own  blood  and  bone? 
You  call  me  a  fool.  air.  but  maybe  your  love  navar 

burned  like  ma  own. 

1  waa  jealona:  I  know  it:  I  knew  it  But  never  a 

word  did  I  say. 
But  loved  wife  and  baby  all  through  it,  and  worked 

fer  them  day  after  day. 
But  O.  things  had  changed.  Why,  the  garden  had 

loat  lialf  its  green  to  me  ai^t 
I  felt  'most  like  askin'  God's  pardm  fer  briagin' 

such  stu£F  to  «^he  light. 

"The  long-legged  calf  and  the  cow  there;  the  new. 

nakid  lamb  in  the  field, 
Tba  shaggy,  ould  horse  in  the  plow  there;  the  cwn 

wid  its  promisht*  yield 
Ware  yesterday  pictures  of  bcasQr.  The  commonest 

rail  in  the  fence 
taemed  proud  to  be  doin'  its  doty,  but  now  'twas 

all  dollara  and  centa. 

(3a) 


Aht  Mid  Is  tiM  dsjr  tliftt  fBMt  Imuiow  Hi  HCht  fran  s 

day  of  the  past. 
And  Md  when  you  turn  from  to-morrow  to  a  yetter- 

day  imwr  to  1mI> 

'^•n  came  batqr  Loey*  m^aaMtf  a  dumg*  X  don't 

yet  understand. 
But  all  the  delight  Dan  ha  T  taken  came  back  in  her 

wee,  baby  hand. 
Ah,  she  was  my  Ut  of  •  fairyl  Ma  aonl  warmed 

again  in  me  breast. 
X  was  fonder  of  her  than  of  Hmf,  um^  ib*  toamad 

to  love  me  the  best. 
And  would  turn  from  her  motfaar^  own  sb  iddar 

and  cry  to  b«  takan  by  ma. 
And  aomahow  ^bat  ntda  llanr  coldar.  bat  I  n«*«r 

"For  I  was  that  taken  iM  tmej.  Tba  color  cams 

back  to  the  aky; 
The  sun  seemed  to  iMae  irid  a  use  he  had  ahnoat 

forgotten  to  try. 
The  use,  sir,  of  warmin'  a  fellow,  the  inside  as  well 
as  the  out. 

Of  9«idin'  Ilia  ^orioua  ydlow  to  buy  na  from 

worry  and  doubt 
And  an  Ox  that  foolish  complainin*  tfie  happiest  folks 

aeem  possessed 
Pocever  to  be  eiilartaiuin*.  like  Mary  and  nMi  wUl 

ttenat 

(33) 


RIMB8    TO    BB  RBAD. 


'Yea  might  net  have  thought,  had  you  seen  at,  each 

one  w''',  a  child  to  the  heart, 
Those  babies  had  come  in  between  us  and  were 

pushing  us  farther  apart. 
Thouf^  both  of  ua  keenly  could  f eel  it,  w«  lat  It  nm 

on  to  the  worst; 
The  years  failed  to  stop  it  or  haal  it,  and  en*  dqr 

the  awful  storm  burst. 

"Wh«i  married  folks  keep  on  a-Uvin',  each  hel^' 

some  things  from  the  light. 
They  both  must  do  lots  of  forgivin^  bafor*  natters 

settle  down  right. 
And  Mary  was  little  on  OM^nsss  and  I— X  Mold 

hardly  be  bent. 
And  both  counted  kindness  a  weakness;  and  so  she 

took  Danny — and  went. 
You've  heard  that  she  went  wid  another.  A  lie!  on 

me  soul,  'tis  a  Uel 
And  yet,  sir,  in  some  way  or  ether,  jrouNre  beard— 

but  of  that  by  and  by. 

"Bit  by  bit,  sii,  I  sold  every  acre,  exceptin'  this  lot 

that  you  see, 
A>tryin'  to  find  her  and  make  her  take  money 

enough  to  be  free 
From  poverty's  pinch,  till  one  raarnin'  <it  tliil  sets 

me  heart  beatin'  hard) 
Widout  the  least  bit  of  a  wanda'  I  saw  a  lad  m 

ma  yard. 

(34) 


Ab4  opm  tfM  door.  It  wu  Owmf  I  Th*  fiM«l  tad 

grown  Ml  «  beadl  ,  

Ah,  tat  X  wu  M  toft  M  a  gmay  and  kmfM  bta 

uid  kissed  him  and  said, 
'Your  mother,  Dan?   Quick,  dont  torraant  tnt  wid 

waitinV  and  then 
Ha  g«v«  Bw  tha  lattar  aha  aant  ma.  I  mind  avary 

auatcb  of  Aa  pan. 

"  'Daar  Connor:  I  aend  yoB  ma  Jawd.  r*a  kapt  Mm 

aa  long  as  I  could. 
Bat  BOW,  thongh  if  a  horribly  cnial  and  hurts  me. 

ifa  all  f or  hia  good. 
I'm  not  fit  to  raise  him.  ao,  Camor.  yoa  maka  him 

the  man  he  should  ba. 
Forgive  his  poor  mottar^  diatanor  aad  Idao  Btda 

Lucy  for  ma.' 

-That  was  all.  But  O,  Father  in  Haavaai  tha  words 

seemed  to  bum  in  ma  brain  ^  ^ 

And  everything  else  tliafa  wa«  dfban  away  fcy  Aw 

terrible  pain.   

IMboamf  No  mora  a  para  wobmub,  oavarmon  wid 

a  right  to  the  name. 
The  highest  of  everything  human?   1  criad  Uka  a 

ch^ld  wid  the  shame. 
And  then  I  determined  to  reach  her,  to  find  her  and 

help  her  to  live. 
To  give  her  a  chance  and  ta  taach  tar  Aat  God,  m 

and  I—could  forgiva. 

(SS) 


"Then  came  every  friend  and  relation,  wid,  'Connor, 

it  never  will  do.' 
The  childer,'  they  said,  'Reputation,'  and  'Just  at 

their  time  of  life,  too.' 
And  so,  for  the  son  and  the  daughter,  I  gave  up  the 

mother  and  wife, 
But  O,  it  was  hard,  hard  to  blot  her  quite  cot  of  me 

heart  and  me  life. 


"The  childer  grew  up.   Lucy  married,  position  and 

money  and  mIL 
Dan  made  hii  way  easy  and  carried  die  town  for 

recorder  last  fall. 
•Last  fall.'   Yes,  last  fall  in  September,  I  heard 

from  me  Mary.  She  sent 
And  begged  me  to  come,  to  remember  the  dear, 

early  days  we  had  spent 
As  husband  and  wife  and  to  hasten,  to  come  widout 

losin'  a  day. 

My!  my!  how  me  ould  legs  went  radn*  to  Danny 

and  Lucy,  but  they. 
They  said,  'Send  her  money,  but,  father,  yon  can't 

carry  out  all  yer  plan. 
Don't  let  her  come  back,  for  we'd  ratiwr  let  bygones 

be  dead,  when  we  can.' 

"  'Send  m<Hiey.'  Ck>d's  mercy!  what's  money  when 

•onls  are  a-starvin'  to  death? 
Dan  said  it  the  campaign  were  den*  ht  wooldn't 

have  hindered  a  breath, 

(se) 


i 


Bttt  now— w  Ah,  'but  now;'  the  ttme  nmuu  tiiat  al- 

wajrt  wu  ready  to  tell — 
'But  nowl'  Wu  tii«r«  never  a  anson  wb»n  mueef 

«aa  free  from  ite  ^dl? 

1  went  to  me  Mary.  I  found  her  Oat  aick  that  me 
heart  nearly  broke. 

She  died,  but  my  arms  were  around  her.  My  name 
was  the  last  word  she  spoke. 

She  always  had  loved  me,  and  better  than  that,  she 
had  always  been  pure. 

The  terrible  worda  of  her  letter  were  not  what  w« 
fancied,  for  sure. 

Her  heart  was  that  true  to  her  Cmnor,  her  con- 
science so  tender,  you  see. 

Her  leavin'  her  home  aeemed  ^Ubaaor  aod  ao  aha 
had  called  it  to  me. 

"I  hope  you  don't  mind  my  relatin'  me  atoiy.  If  a 

nothin',  but  I, 
X  lived  it,  you  see.   Now  I'm  waitin*,  yea,  widtiln', 

contented,  to  die. 
I've  got  no  reproach  for  the  livin*.  I've  nothin'  but 

love  for  the  dead, 
I  hope  me  own  past  is  forgiven,  and  as  for  'That's 

comin*  ahead. 
Who  can  tell?  Majrbe  joy,  maybe  somnr,  but  anrdy 

there's  some  place,  at  last. 
Where  old  people  live  for  to-morrow,  as  wtSi  as 

look  into  the  past." 

(87) 


RIMES   TO    BB  READ 


THE  YOUNG  MAN  WAITED. 

TN  the  room  below  the  young  man  sat, 
^   With  an  anxious  face  and  a  white  cravat, 
A  throbbing  heart  and  a  silken  hat, 
And  various  other  things  like  that, 

Which  he  had  accumulated. 
And  the  maid  of  his  heart  was  up  above, 
Surrounded  by  hat  and  gown  and  glove. 
And  a  thousand  things  which  women  love. 
But  no  man  knoweth  the  names  thereof — 
And  the  yonng  man  sat  ud— ^mdted. 

You  will  scarce  believe  the  things  I  tell. 
But  the  truth  thereof  I  know  full  well. 

Though  how  may  not  be  suted; 
But  I  swear  to  you  that  the  maiden  took 
A  sort  of  a  half-breed,  thin  stove-h6ok 
And  heated  it  well  in  the  gaslight  there 
And  thrust  it  into  her  head,  or  hair  I 
Then  she  took  a  something  off  the  bed. 
And  hooked  it  onto  her  hair,  or  head. 
And  piled  it  high,  and  piled  it  higher, 
And  drove  it  home  with  staples  of  wire! 

And  the  young  man  anxiously^waited. 

Then  she  took  a  thing  she  called  "a  puff," 
And  some  very  peculiar,  whitish  stuff. 
And  using  about  a  half  a  peck. 
She  qpread  it  over  her  face  and  neck, 

(3i> 


r 


\ 


RIMES   TO   BE  FEAD. 


(Deceit  was  •  thing  she  hated!) 


And  she  looked  as  fair  as  a  lilied  bower, 
(Or  a  pound  of  lard,  or  a  sack  of  floor) 
And  the  young  man  wearily— waited. 

Then  she  took  a  garment  of  awful  shape, 
And  it  wasn't  a  waist,  nor  yet  a  cape; 
Bat  it  looked  like  a  piece  of  ancient  mail. 
Or  an  instrument  from  a  Russian  jail. 
And  then  with  a  fearful  groan  and  gaf^. 
She  squeezed  herself  in  its  deathly  dasj^— 

So  fair  and  yet  so  fated  I 
And  then  with  a  move  like  I  don't  know  what.. 
She  tied  it  on  with  a  double  knot;  ^ 

And  the  young  man  woefully-waited. 

Then  she  put  on  a  dozen  TifFerent  things, 
A  mixture  of  buttons  and  hooks  and  strings. 
Till  she  strongly  resembled  a  notion  store; 
Then  taking  some  seventeen  inns,  or  more. 
She  thrust  them  between  her  ruby  lips. 
Then  stuck  them  around  from  waist  to  hips. 
And  never  once  hesitoted. 
And  the  maiden  didn't  know  perhaps. 
That  tiie  man  Mow  Ind  had  aeven  napa. 
And  that  now  he  sleepily— waited. 

And  then  she  triad  to  put  on  her  hat. 
Ah  me,  a  trying  ordeal  was  that! 
She  tipped  It  high  and  she  tried  it  low, 
But  evtry  w^r  that  the  tiling  would  go 


(39) 


Only  made  her 

It  wouldn't  go  straight  and  it  caught  her  hair, 
And  she  wished  she  could  hire  a  man  to  swear, 
But  alasi  the  only  man  lingering  there 
Wai  the  man  who  wildly— waited 

Then  a  little  dab  here  and  a  wee  pat  there, 
And  a  touch  or  two  to  her  hindmost  hair, 
i|  :  1  Then  around  the  room  with  the  utmost  care 

She  thoughtfully  circulated. 
Then  she  eeiwd  her  gloves  and  a  chamois  skin, 
i  Some  breath  perfume  and  '  long  stick  pin, 

A  bon-bon  box  and  a  cloak  and  some 

Bau  dt  cologne  and  chewing  gum. 
Her  opvm  glass  and  a  aealskin  muff, 
A  tan  and  a  heap  of  otiier  ituff; 
Then  she  hurried  down,  but  t>e  she  spcHatt 
Something  about  the  maiden  broke, 
So  she  scurried  back  to  the  winding  stair. 
And  the  young  man  looked  in  wild  despair. 

And  tibcn  lie  eviporaiadt 


(40) 


THE  LABORS  OF  HERCULES. 

(Worked  Ovtr  in  Eaiy-Ooing  Verae.) 

TN  Andent  Greece,  long  time  ago.  •  nwa  WM  bom 
^     —or,  majrbe, 

I  oof^  to  Mqr  a  god  «m  bom  or,  better  yet,  a 
babf. 

Hit  father^  name  waa  Joj^ter;  Alcmena  was  Us 

mother. 

Who  vowed  he  was  "the  sweetest  pet,"  and  "never 

such  another!" 
But  Juno,  wife  of  Jupiter,  pretended  not  to  know  it; 
She  didn't  like  jroung  Herculet,  and  atraigfatway 

sought  to  show  it. 
She  sent  two  horrid,  monstrous  snakes,  to  eat  him 
in  his  cradle, 

Which  reptilea  found  him  sitting  eating  sugar  with  a 
ladle. 

They  smiled  to  see  how  awaat  ha'd  be,  bM  lo!  tiw 

boy  gave  battle: 
Ha  UUcd  diem  bodi  and  uaed  didr  taUa  to  make  a 

baby-tattla. 

Then  Juno  let  Um  duhre  In  peace;  but,  after  be  fnm 
grown. 

He  found  that  she  had  kept  him  from  a  kingdom  and 
a  throne. 

Ewyatfaeua  obtained  these  plums,  but  night  and  day 
was  haunted 

By  tales  of  migh^  Hsrodaa  the  iMfo  m4  on* 
danntedl 

(4S) 


So,  after  some  deep  thinking,  Enrystheus  planned  to 
•end  him 

To  do  a  dozen  labors,  any  one  of  which  might  end 
him. 

LABOR  I. 

The  Nemean  lion,  accustomed  to  ravage 
The  country  around,  being  voted  too  savage. 
Our  hero  was  sent  to  remove  him  from  earth. 
With  no  arms,  save  the  two  that  he  had  at  his  birth. 
Brave  Hercules  blocks  up  one  hole  of  the  den 
And  enters  the  other.  A  silence,  and  then 
Comes  a  grcwl,  and  a  roar  and  a  rash,  and  a  shock — 
Like  waves  in  the  tempest  they  struggle  and  rock. 
Till  Hercules  wins  the  renowned  "strangle  lock," 
And  the  lion  goes  down  like  a  log  or  a  post. 
Repents  of  his  sins,  and  is  only  a  ghost. 

LABOR  IL 

There  lived  at  that  epoch,  according  to  story, 
A  terrible  monster,  whose  principal  glory 
Consisted  of  heads,  which  a  strict  inventory 
Declared  to  be  nine;  and  one  of  the  same 
Was  as  deathless  as  Jove,  so  authorities  claim. 
Nothing  daunted,  our  Hercules  went  forth  to  fight 
it; 

He  cut  off  one  head  and  two  others  were  sig^ited. 
And  thus  the  solution  appeared  to  his  view: 
'WVhen  you  tate  one  from  one,  tlw  reanlt  wiU  be 
two." 

(4a) 


Rather  taken  aback,  but  still  thoroughly  gKine, 
He  called  hia  hired  help,  lolaua  by  name. 
Then  he  ihaved  off  A*  haads  as  a  nan  woold  a 
beard, 

And  the  necks  (by  his  servant)  were  careftiUy  seared. 

Till  the  deathless  head  soon  was  left  grinning  alone. 
And  that  one  he  buried  beneath  a  big  stone. 

LABOR  UL 

The  Arcadian  sUg  was  a  curious  kind, 
Golden>horned,  orazen-hoofed,  and  could  outnin  the 
wind; 

Whoever  panned  him  waa  Kxm  left  behind. 
The  mandate  was  given  to  capture  him  living, 
So  our  hero  set  out  without  any  misgiving. 
All  over  the  kingdom  he  followed  the  brute, 
'mi  a  year  waa  consumed  in  the  useless  pursuit. 
"Confound  you  I"  said  Hercules,  seizing  his  bow. 
"I've  got  something  here  iddch  IH  wager  can  go 
As  fast  as  two  sUgs."   And  it  proved  to  be  ao. 
The  arrow  succeeded  in  laying  him  low. 
Hie  woond  waan't  fatal,  so  Herodee  caught  him. 
And  into  tha  Ung'a  taai^^  praence  he  brought 
him. 

LABOR  XV. 

The  bear  of  Bfymanthus  was  dt  trap 
Which  is  French  for  saying  ham 
Borea  are  looked  on,  even  near. 

(43) 


Our  hero  ran  the  lascal  through  the  mow, 

Snared  him  neatly  in  a  net, 

ncked  him  up,  like  any  pet. 
And  took  him  to  the  capital  to  add  him  to  the  ahow. 

LABOR  V. 

Augeas,  King  o£  Elis,  it  appears, 
Had  several  thousand  oxen  in  Us  stable. 
But  hadn't  cleaned  the  place  for  thirty  years. 
The  hard  taskmaster  heard,  pricked  up  his  ears 
And  cried,  "Hoi  ho!  my  Hercules,  you're  able 
To  do  great  things.  I  give  you  just  one  day 
For  this  spring  cleaning."  Stranger  to  dismay. 
Our  hero  sought  the  stables  of  Aogeas, 
Turned  into  them  the  river  named  Alpheus, 
And  re-enforced  it  with  the  swift  Peneus; 
These  brooms  sooo  swept  th«  dirt  away,  yon  have 
my  word. 

Perhaps  they  swept  tiie  ataUes  witii  it    lliat  I 
haven't  heard. 

LABOR  VI. 

The  Stymphalian  birds  were  •  horriUe  lot. 
And  everyone  thought 
That  tiiey  oii|^ 
To  be  shot; 

Yet  no  one  had  done  it,  till  Hercules  brou^ 
His  little  snake-rattle  to  set  them  to  flying 
And  then  popped  tfaant  ovar,  aa  easy  as  Ijring. 

(44) 


SIMB8   TO   BB  RBAD 


LABOR  Vn. 

A  bull,  Mtit  by  Neptune  to  die  in  liis  honor  (?) 
Not  having  been  killed  was  made  mad  by  the  donor. 
Eurystheus  must  have  been  running  a  "Zoo" 
And  having  the  stag  and  the  boar,  wanted,  too, 
The  mad  bull  of  Crete;  ao  he  ordered  "Oo  get  himi" 
Thoni^  Hercules  never  to  nmeh  as  Iwd  met  Ua. 

But  our  hero  set  sail. 

Grabbed  the  bull  by  the  tail, 
And  took  him  to  Hellas;  but  not  for  the  Garden, 
For,  having  arrived,  he  then  (begging  his  pardon 
Becauw  ha  had  given  Us  tail  anch  a  pull) 
Set  him  free— and  all  Graaea  wa*  as  mad  at  Oa  ML 

LABOR  Vm. 

Diomadea 
Used  to  feed  his 

Mares  on  human  flesh. 
Hercules  just  cut  him  up. 
Found  the  marea  inclined  to  aiq^ 

And  fed  him  to  them,  fresh. 
'Twas  a  most  successful  plan; 
Though  before  they  liked  a  man 

Man  ibau  oata  m  anytiiing. 
Strange  to  say,  this  master-diet 
Made  tiiam  ifffHIo^  Und  and  quiet. 

To  ba  tafcan  to  tta  kln^ 


(4S) 


RXMB8   TO    BB   RB  A  D  . 


LABOR  UL 


The  Amaxon  queen  had  «  beautiful  bdt 
'Twas  given  by  Mara,  and  the  queen  justly  felt 
Quite  proud  of  tiie  trifle,  but  Hercules  started 
To  see  if  the  belt  and  queen  couldn't  be  parted. 
At  first  it  appeared  he  had  only  to  ask 
To  receive  it,  but  this  was  too  easy  a  task 
To  please  Mrs.  Juno,  who  stirred  up  a  bolt 
In  ^e  ranks  of  tite  AnwMHis.  ^Vhen  the  revolt 
Was  reported  to  Hercules,  He       cr  thought 
The  queen  was  a  traitress  and     pertly  wrought 
To  undo  him;  so  seizing  the  girdle  he  sought. 
He  slew  ber,  and  thus  was  it  bloodily  bought. 
WUch  diow*  that  •  man  may  be  brave  aa  tiw  best. 
And  f0t  mgallaat,  when  it  comea  to  a  teat 


LABOR  X. 


Otryones  had  a  fhw  herd  of  red  cattle, 
Witii  a  two-headed  dog  and  a  giant  to  battle 
With  any  who  trespawd  upon  his  domain. 
Dog,  owner  and  keeper  were  met  and  were  slain. 
Yet  Hercules  stiU  had  to  fight  heavy  odds, 
(A  number  of  men  and  a  parcel  of  gods) 
But  in  epite  of  them  all,  he  conducted  the  string 
Oi  handsome,  red  beasta  to  Us  brute  ol  a  king. 

(4«) 


SXMBt   TO   BB  RBAD 


1 


LABOR  XL 


When  Juno  was  married,  the  goddess  of  Eartii 
Presented  some  apples  of  excellent  worth. 

Made  all  of  fine  gold 
From  the  smooth,  shiny  ikiii  to  the  iMlps  in  the  con. 

(Alas!  I  am  told 
Such  beautiful  apples  don't  grow  any  more.) 
But  wealth  is  a  worry;  nobody  need  doubt  it. 
Unless,  lilw  myielf,  he  is  always  without  it 
And  Juno  wh  worried  until  she  grew  pale; 
Her  nectar  was  flat,  her  ambrosia  was  stale. 
The  fear  of  a  burglar  had  entered  her  head. 
And  so  every  night  she  looked  under  the  bed. 
No  matter  what  Jupiter  argued  or  aaid. 
She'd  wake  him  at  midnight  to  vow  and  declare 
There  must  be  an  apple-thief  round  about  there. 
At  last,  growing  tired  of  the  worry  and  wear, 
She  placed  them  in  care 
Of  the  sisters  Hesperides,  living  just  where 

The  sun  sett  «t  night 

Our  hero  met  Atlas,  who  held  up  the  height 
Of  the  heavens  in  air. 

And  a  bargain  was  struck  that  the  hero  should  bear 
The  dome  for  a  while,  and  the  action  should  earn 
The  apples,  iHiich  Atlas  brought  back  in  return. 
Though  I  can't  understand 
Why  a  chap  with  a  chance  to  steal  ipplta  at  hand. 


(47) 


8cot-frM  of  all  Uamt, 

Should  so  lose  his  hmd 

As  to  give  up  his  claim 

And  kt  sooMbo^r  dM  do  it  for  Urn  imlMd. 

LABOR  XIL 

Pluto,  in  his  world  below, 

Had  a  great  three-headed  beast 
Called  a  dog.    Perhaps  'twas  so. 
Bat  I  doubt  his  breed,  at  least 
House-dog?  Hardly.  Poison-dropa 
Fell  from  out  his  gaping  chops, 
And  his  fangs  were  sharp  as  hata. 
And  he  guarded  Pluto's  gate. 

Hercules  was  told  to  fetch 
This  repulsive,  savage  wretch. 
Hercules  with  little  fuss 
Seised  the  snarling  Cerberus, 

Took  him  to  tha  Earth  from  Hadaa, 
Scared  the  king  in  playful  q^ort. 
Showed  him  round  to  all  the  court. 

Made  him  bark  for  all  the  la^as. 
Then  the  hero  let  him  go, 

And  he  sank  to  raalma  bdow. 

One  head  growling. 

One  head  yowling. 

One  head  howling. 
Out  dog-curses, 

(4S> 


THE  HERO  OF  THE  HILL. 

DO  yon  ever  stop  to  watch  a  horse  pull  a  Uf 
load  up  a  hiU? 
There's  something  fine  about  the  way  he  sends  his 
rugged  will 

Down  through  those  quivering  shoulders,  tiH  h 

■eems  as  if  he  clutched 
And  hurled  the  hiU  behind  his  heels  until  the  top  is 

touched. 

It  gives  a  man  new  courage  when  he  comes  to  hb 
steep  grade, 

To  think  of  that  example  which  the  plucky  beast  has 
made. 

Bat  if  the  load  prove  stronger:  if  the  horse,  with 

hoofs  outq;>read. 
With  reddened  nostrils,  foanting  flanks,  and  bowing. 

straining  head. 
Surrenders  to  the  inert  mass,  while  the  driver's  only 
helps 

Are  strident  oaths  and  the  savage  sound  of  the  hot, 

whip's  snaps  and  srelps. 
Why  then  the  diief  result  is,  that  it  makes  a  fellow 

feel 

He'd  like  to  take  that  drivw's  bead  to  Uock  the  dip- 
ping wlieelt 


(so) 


R  I 


MB8   TO   BB  RBAD. 


But  I  remember  one  time  wlwn  the  driver  liad  ■ 

heart,  . 
And  worked  with  mind  and  mMcle  to  releMe  tlie 

stubborn  cart 
From  the  clay-rut.  when  some  soldiers  who  were 

loaBng  in  the  nm  ,  ,     ^  .  v 

Let  faU  their  laiy  jawe  to  Uugh  and  let  their  cheap 

wit  run. 

One  cried,  "Say,  take  that  bag  of  bonea  moA  feed  Wm 

to  the  crows  I"  . .  _ 

And  "Oh,  he'd  acare  Ae  crowa  away,"  At 

answer  rose.   

"It'll  take  a  small  torpedo,  if  you  ever  move  tnat 

beast."  ^.  ^        .  . 

"Better  get  one  of  the  aixe  of  that  which  wreckea 

the  Ifaiiie,'  at  leait" 


80  ran  the  jeering  eommeiita,  till  at  kwt  •  bugler 

"Say,  if  I  blow  the  charge,  tfye  tUak  htTd 

drop  down  dead?" 
It  was  then  the  driver  anawered.  "Wdl,  he  ndipit; 

but  let  me  say 
That  thia  old  horse  has  heard  the  charge  when  it 

•Charger  to  obey. 
Not  on  the  dress-pwad*  gro«nda  almg  witii  chapa 

like  you.  _     ,^  . 

But  on  the  fieWa  ol  Cubu  i^lmt  the  H^tiA  bultoli 

(51) 


And  though  hc'a  drifted  back  to  me  and  don't  look 
very  trim, 

I  tell  jrou  he's  a  vet,  who  has  the  right  stuff  yet  in 
him." 

"Oh,  nontenael"  laughed  a  aergeant.  and  "Non- 

■enael"  aneered  the  nat. 
And  the  bugler  raiaad  faia  buf^,  crying.  "Thiall  \j9 

the  test." 

Then  out  upon  the  air  there  fell  a  down  liquid 

tOIMB, 

Like  prophecies  of  glmy  mingling  with  th*  ghoata 

of  groans, 

The  sound  the  soldier  heara— «nd  chaera  although 

ita  mellow  breath 
Mqr  aend  him  where  the  cannon  belch  their  black 

and  bitter  death. 
The  sound  which  cries,  "Destroy,  destroy!  and  let 

the  list  be  large!" 
The  ringing  of  the  bugle  when  it  blowa  the  battle 

charge. 

And  how  the  old  horse  heard  it!  Up  flung  his  heavy 
head. 

Wide  grew  hia  nostrils,  atraight  hia  cara,  and  quick 

tiM  fever  apread 
Through  every  nerve  and  muaclc,  as  ht  fmrward 

plunged  and  pressed 
ttraight  up  the  steep,  daapit*  hia  load,  and  atood 

upon  the  creati 


And  were  the  soldien  toaghing  now?  Not  wo.  The 

scofiBng  jeers 
Gave  way  to  shame  a  moment,  and  then  burst  forth 

in  cheers. 

And  the  sergeant  cried,  "Attention,  boys  I  fall  in! 

dress  ranks  I  salutel 
Salute  the  gallant  veteran— our  comrade,  though  a 

brute. 

Qod  send  him  oats  and  qiples  and  tfaa  shaltar  of  a 

staU, 

And  grant  we  be  as  sturdy  when  w«  hear  the  battlt- 
caUi" 


(S3) 


IN  THE  OLD  SCHOOLHOUSE. 

WELL,  well!  and  can  it  be? 
Is  this  the  nme  old  Bclioolhotue?  Is  tida 

the  same  old  me? 
Why,  here's  the  very  place 

Where  Teacher  stood  the  dmee-stool.  wltfi  me  oa  it^ 

in  disgrace. 
And  here's  the  old  blacU>o«rd 
Where  I  ciphered,  ciphered,  djAered,  till  I  stopped, 

completely  floored, 
While  Teacher  looked  severe. 
And  forty  thumbs  and  fingers  Uunted  "We  knowl" 

in  my  ear. 
And  here's  the  hollow  chair 

Which  I  levelled  up  with  water,  and  when  Teacher 

sat  down  there 
His  gasp  of  wet  surprise 

Tonched  giggling  fringe  witidii,  wUch  bubbled  oat 

of  lips  and  eyes. 
And  O,  those  awful  tones 

Which  meted  out  my  punirtiment,  "Yea  sit  with 
JulU  Jonest" 

The  nurth  forsook  my  face, 

And  every  blood-corpuscle  blushed  to  witness  my 

disgrace. 
"O.  tyrant,  take  thy  rule 

And  rap  these  knuckles  loudly,  tiU  I  h«ml  btfoca  the 
school  I 


(54) 


O,  Mt  thy  biting  birch  | 

Against  these  legs  till  not  an  incb  ot  sUa  MC^pM  Hi  t 

search!  I 

O,  tread  me  in  the  dust.  I 

And  keep  me  in  at  recess  till  vacation,  if  thou  must  I  1 

If  ake  sore  my  very  boms,  \ 

Bni  cry  thee  msrcy,  Toacher.  ait  ma  not  witfi  Jtdh  I 

J  ones  I"  i 

Why,  here's  tin  very  scat 

Where  I  sat  oast  to  Jolia,  swcatiiic  Uood  from  head 

to  feet. 
While  Julia  broke  a  rule 

And  whispered,  "Feel  mean  if  yoo  want  to,  Phil,  but 
dont  look  Hke  a  fooir 

And  then,  to  show  her  grit, 

She  slipped  her  arm  behind  me,  saying,  "I  don't 

mind  a  bit" 
I  sat,  with  lips  a-curl. 

And  marveled  why  a  righteoaa  Qod  should  ever 

make  a  girl. 
But— well,  it's  very  strange, 

For  in  a  year  or  two  toy  views  had  andergoae  a 
change. 

And  I'd  have  swapped  my  bones 

For  the  iwmiahment  of  sitting  aU  nqr  Ufa  wMi  JaUa 

Jones. 

And  now!  well,  can  it  be 

Tm  In  the  same  old  schoolhoiuw  widi  tiM  lama  M 
dreams  in  me? 

(55) 


The  place  is  mean  and  low. 
Bat  Athnu*  elastic  Partiwmm  could  hardly  adr  ma 
sa 

The  Teacher,  t^ere  it  he? 

A  blessing  on  his  stem  did  face,  idMrevcr  it  may  be. 

And  Julia,  is  she  there 

Still  under  the  dominion  of  his  tutelary  care, 
A  means  of  righteous  wrath 
To  piraish  yoimg  male  chambim  who  tread  the  way- 
ward path? 
I  can't  believe  it.  No, 

For  I  left  hw  witfi  tiw  babiet  hardly  half  an  hour 
ago. 

And  my  reason  quite  Aaowna 
A  theory  which  givea  bar  back  har  maiden  name  of 
Jones. 


II 


\ 


RIMES    TO    BB  READ 


FAME  AND  FATE 

WORK  for  the  world,  but  art  for  met 
I  shall  win  my  way  with  the  bnuh,"  nid 
she. 

She  studied  art:  sh«  studied  it  hard; 
She  painted  canvases,  yard  on  yard 
(For  "Art  is  long,"  as  I'm  aw*  yoaVa  heard). 

Two  strokes,  or  three 
For  a  blasted  tree 

And  a  wiggle  or  two  fm-  a  flying  bird. 

But  "art"  is  BometiaMS  purest  gold. 

And  sometimes  merest  gilding — 

So  she  "wins  her  way  with  the  brush,"  I'm  told. 

By  acniMiiBiK  s  Mew  YoA  fcuBdhig, 

"The  world  may  Af  in  tiie  dark,"  ulA  he, 
"But  the  beam  of  the  footlights  beckons  ma." 
So  he  cried  in  grief  and  he  cried  in  joy. 
He  screamed  the  scream 
Of  Aram'a  Dream, 

And  he  groaned  die  groan  of  TIm  Polish  Boy. 
He  likewise  remarked,  "On  the  murderer's  handa 
Is  the  blood  of  his  victim  I  there  he  stands  I" 
And,  "Listen,  proud  maid!  You  shall  be  my  wife 
Even  though  it  shall  cost  your  husband's  life." 
But  "Art  is  long"-^very  long-Hra,  too. 
Are  the  miles  o'  ties  on  the  C.  B.  Q., 
So  he's  "on  the  stage"— in  Idaho 
From  Seven  Devils  to  Silver  Bow. 


(57) 


"Love  for  the  common,  but  mine  is  famef 
She  cried,  "and  the  world  shall  know  my  name." 
Corrupting  English,  she  caUad  it  "verae," 
While  "poetry"  graded  aomewlutt  wona. 

"Now  flees  my  love 
As  doth  the  dove 

Which  moults  to  feathery  clouds  abova. 

Its  cryptic  cry  apace  doth  haste 

And  wounds  the  wind  which  sweeps  the  waata." 

Ah,  "Art  is  long"  (in  sad  endurance) 

And  Ffema  coqmttes  with  bald  Assuranca. 

And  now,  wherever  the  English  tongna 

Is  put  into  print  her  praise  is  sung, 

For  she  was  cured  of  manifold  ills 

By  Buncombe  Bitters  and  Pigweed  Pills. 

"Gold  coaena  the  soul  of  men.  but  -mine.** 

He  said,  Is  filled  with  the  art  fivine. 

Music  may  lead  me  whither  she  may; 

I  toil  at  the  ivories  day  by  day 

Till  the  world  shall  gather  when  I  shall  plmf." 

He  practiced  in  every  conceivable  key — 

Rumplety,  tumplety,  tunk  tank,  tee; 

Ripplety,  skipplety,  lol-la-leel 

Till  his  brow  with  an  honest  dew  was  wet 

And  neighboring  flats  were  marked  "To  Let" 

Yes,  "Art  is  long,"  but  the  wise  retort 

That  the  artist  himself  is  sometimes  short, 

So  the  world  does  gather  to  watch  him  play 

As  he  fingers  the  ivories  day  by  day 

In  a  bOUard  hall  in  Sanu  F6. 


(SS) 


ALMOST  UP. 

WHERE  were  you  struck?"  the  captain  cried 
To  him  who  charged  on  Lookout's  aide. 
Who  charged  in  aU  hia  martial  prida, 
Up  I  over  rocky  ridge  and  nt. 
Up  I  where  the  pathi  of  life  were  shut, 
Up  I  where  the  death-winged  bullets  sped. 
Up  I  over  dying  men  and  dead: 
Nothing  could  atay  his  onward  tread 
UntO-^^  hortling  scrap  of  lead. 
"Whan  WM«  yoa  struck?"  the  captain  criad. 
Between  the  waves  of  battle's  tide. 
Then,  half  in  anguish,  half  in  pride. 
Though  drinking  of  the  bitter  cup. 
The  soldier  answered,  "Almost  up  I" 
"No,  no;  your  wound— wlwra  hh,  X  man?" 
But,  even  in  that  final  scene. 
True  to  his  laat  heroic  will. 
**  Hqat  opt  'moat  vpf  he  murmured  atllL 

Not  where  his  shattered  bo^  bled. 
Not  where  his  veins  poored  out  their  red. 
But  where  his  last  hard  duty  led. 
Was  all  the  dying  adldier's  thought. 
And  may  wt  learn  the  laaaon  taught  !— 
No  matter  where  our  lives  are  cast. 
In  sunny  peace  or  battle's  blast, 
May  it  be  said,  when  we  have  passed, 
"He  Mmgglad  upwards  to  the  lastf 

(fl«> 


S  i 


O   BB  S 


BUT  THEY  DIDtrr. 

f\    HARRY  came  along  tfie  laaa 

And  he  wai  very  late. 
He  hurried  on  to  catch  a  train 

And  had  no  time  to  wait. 
Ha  mnat  haateni — but  againat  tha  pana 
Ha  caught  a  i^impae  of  Kate, 
And  ha  didnt.  ba  didnt,  ha  didn't 

O,  Katie  had  her  doughnuts  cut, 

Har  vonga  waa  light  aa  air; 
Her  pica  were  fai  tha  oven  ahot 

And  needed  all  her  care; 
She  must  give  them  every  moment,  but 
She  spied  young  Harry  therfe 
And  aha  didn't,  aha  didn't,  aha- didn't. 

O,  Harry  stopped  and  spoke  •  word 

And  spoke  it  very  low. 
And  yet  I  think  that  Katia  hoard 

And  atill  believed  it  ao. 
Tho*  an  tfie  while  the  youth  averred 

That  ha  would  have  to  go, 
But  he  didn't,  he  didn't,  he  didn't 

O,  Katia  aaid  the  fira  waa  warm 

And  die  waa  'nike  to  drop;" 
And  Harry  seemed  to  think  Ma  arm 

Waa  needed  as  a  prop; 

(«o) 


And  Katie  wai  in  such  alarm 
She  Mid  that  he  must  atop  I 
Bat  ht  dMat,  b*  didat.  ht  didnt 

For  he  said  he  held  onto  die  beat 

When  he  had  proved  it  so, 
And  she  drooped  her  head  upon  liia  breut 

And  aaid  that  he  must  go; 
And  he  aaid  he'd  leave  that  iiutant 

Lest  he  heard  a  cruel  *Nor 


fit) 


TO   BE  RBAD. 




EVOLUTION 

NOW  wtkm  tiM  oriftaal  anthropoid 
firat  foond  tlwt  hia  pimpUng  drin  was 

Of  hf  r. 
And  bare. 

Some  ganglial  gUmmer  within  the  brala 
Imp^ed  him  to  took  for  a  •obttitute. 

That  fact. 

That  act, 
Wm  dviliaation'i  primal  ipurt, 
For  •  BMB  iMi*i  mm  iritlMBi— «  lUct. 

Thm  f oaawad  as  ataa,  nan  or  leaa, 

atwr  a  ekaiqce  in  the  cswMo'a  draoa. 

Mayhap 

Some  chap 
M^r  luva  added  btMchcs.  or  even  a  coat. 
But      pwfOM  waa  aiill  tiM  amaa*  yovU  tuta 

UMB 

Some  fhrfll 
Of  pride  in  -^ppr^'ance  began  to  grow, 
And  he  added  aoi  outer  shirt-^or  ahow. 

Some  anthropologista,  you  may  atiert. 
Say  the  proud  preceded  the  useful  shirt 

Tis  true 

They  do. 
^  to  aaaarar  ^tmt  I  ncod  only  say 
That  X  am  mWac  this  vwrsa,  not  Aay. 

(to) 


mi  M  E 1 


TO    B  > 


READ 


And  if 

At  thJit,  I  furtiieiu^ore  plainly  »tate 
Iff  pjadMl  BeraM  is  paid  to  tete. 


■ei  .  in  a  fort*.  *t« 

A  the 

en  me 

Wotdd  K      at  the     iial*         aA  is^wk 


Hi    n-  . 
Decree 

hm  neck      kis  ifakt  a«  tohionad  talter 
A»  •  *%iidvt  ^  plM*.'  A     Him  thg  coUtf  . 


tep  m       'in  :>rid 

Iw  ceil.       iotta  tiad. 
ate 

'  ^olnd,  tL  o  e  mtb  <  gcMen  pin 
iu£i^]r  Madt  .i«  OFF  !ient  in. 

P  de  vied 
^M^tii  prida, 
did        y  Mw        lonry  aat, 
3d  4  ap  iHbc  immtk  fai  tiia  pin  km  aat 

L  p  nt  »,   ts  jrat  to  come, 

F«  ««ke  i^iA  }a«pe.     jroor  fiafar  and  thumb 


RIMES    TO  BE 


And  try 
The  ply 

Of  collar  and  neck-drw*  through  and  through, 
And  the  prideful  aWrt  «nd  th«  meful.  too 

And  then 

Again  I 

•  ••••••• 

And  the  polished  pin  which  joa  have  employed 
Has  acratched  the  original  anthropoid! 


(64) 


READ 


TIN  DE  SIECLB.** 

HIS  life's  a  hollow  bubble. 


*       Don't  you  know? 
Jnct  a  painted  piece  of  twouU*. 

Don't  you  know? 
We  come  to  earth  to  cwy, 
We  gwow  oldeh  and  we  sigh, 
Oldeh  still  and  then  we  die, 
Dont  jrav  know? 


It  is  all  a  howwid  mix, 

Don't  you  know? 
Btniness,  'sve,  and  politics. 

Don't  you  know? 
Clubs  and  pawties,  cliques  and  sets. 
Fashions,  follies,  sins,  weg.'ets, 
Stwuggle,  stwife,  and  dgawettes, 

Dont  you  know? 


And  we  wowwy  through  each  iaf. 

Don't  you  know? 
la  •  aort  of,  kind  of,  way. 

Don't  you  know? 
We  are  hungwy,  we  are  fed. 
Some  few  things  are  done  and  MMt 
We  are  tihed,  we  go  to  bed, 

Don't  x-w  know? 


RIMES   TO    BE  READ 


Business?  O,  that's  beastly 

Don't  you  know? 
Something's  lost  or  something's  made. 

Don't  you  know? 
And  you  wowwy,  and  you  mope 
And  you  hang  youah  highest  hope 
On  the  pwice,  pe'haps,  of  soi^l 

Don't  you  Imow? 

Politics?  O.  just  a  tawk, 

Don't  you  know? 
Just  a  nightmaeh  in  the  dawk. 

Don't  you  know? 
You  pe'spiah  all  da^  and  night 
And  afteh  all  the  fight, 
Why  pe'haps  the  w'ong  man's  wight. 

Don't  you  know? 

Society?  Is  dwess, 

Don't  you  know? 
And  a  sou'ce  of  much  distwess. 

Don't  you  know? 
To  detehmine  what  to  weah. 
When  to  go  and  likewise  wheah 
And  how  to  pawt  youah  haih. 

Don't  you  know? 

Love?  O,  yes!  You  meet  some  gil. 

Don't  know? 
And  you  get  in  such  a  whil. 

Don't  you  know? 

m 


i 


Then  you  kneel  down  on  tiie  Both 
And  imploah  and  adoah— 
And  h's  all  a  beastly  boahl 
Don't  you  know? 

So  tiieah'a  weally  nothing  in  it. 

Don't  you  know? 
And  wc  live  just  for  the  minute. 

Don't  you  know? 
For  when  you've  seen  and  felt, 
Dwank  and  eaten,  heahd  and 
Why  all  the  cawds  are  dealt. 

Don't  yoa  know? 

TonVe  one  consdouaneis,  that*a  aUt 

Don't  you  know? 
And  one  atomach,  and  it's  small, 

Dcm't  you  know? 
Yoa  can  only  weah  one  tie. 
One  eye-glass  in  youah  eye, 
And  one  cofiBn  when  you  die. 

Don't  you  know? 


DB  GOOnCH-IACK. 


DE  ciinjuh-docuh,  he  mek  dr  CBi^nti-t«K,  ^ 
He  mek  de  cunjuh-bag,  he  mek  de  i  n»j/lk  hlgr 
He  done  mek  it  OHt-cr  a  shirt-tail  rag 
Dst  com*  f  on  a  blne-gnm  niggah. 
Den  he  put  in  de  rabbit-foot  en  ^ligateh  aigg. 
He  put  in  de  penny  dat  a  dumb  man  baif , 
En  a  snake's  front  toof  dat  stuck  a  oinala'* 
En  he  put  in  anothah  Til  jiggah. 

Den  he  tek  dat  bag  en  he  cnn^  you. 
He  cunjuh  you,  he  cunjuh  yon; 
Whateveh  he  say,  he  kin  mek  ytm  do; 
You  got  no  chance  en  dat's  a  libbin'  fac*, 
Onless  you  got  you  a  goofeh-jack. 

De  voodoo-doctah  he  mek  de  goofeh-jack,^ 
He  mek  de  goofeh-jack,  he  mek  de  goofeh-jack, 
F'ora  a  stick  dat  grows  in  a  erf-quake  crack, 
Wif  a  shape  lek  a  bow-legged  niggah. 
Den  he  wrap  dat  stick  wif  a  lil  flannd  rag 
Dat  once  was  a  part-er  a  cunjuh  bag. 
En  he  say  some  woids  lek  "Doodlegumbledag!" 
En  some  otheh  woids  a  heap  sight  biggeh. 
Den  if  some  low  niggah  done  cunjuh  you, 
Done  cnnjtth  yon,  done  cunjuh  you, 
Des  you  grab  dat  stick,  for  I  telle  you  true. 
You  got  no  chance  en  daf  •  a  IfltUa'  ia^, 
OobM  you  got  yon  a  gogMuJack. 


(.10) 


TO   BB  SBAD 


Dey-us  ol'  Miss  Riley  was  a-wuln'  away, 
A-was'in'  away,  des  was'in'  right  away, 
Et6n'  boHes  tr  raeAdiM  wr^  ria^  dqr. 

But  I  wa'n't  gwine  for  to  trua'  it; 
So  I  des  git  a  goofeh  en  slip'  it  in  de  baid. 
En  it  sho  would  a  cu'ed  her,  lek  de  voodoo  say'd 
But  de  v«'y  next  mawnin',  soh,  she  wake  up  daidi 
•Cam  the  roO  on  de  goofdi-jack  en  bus'  it. 
So  if  some  low  niggah  done  cunjuh  yoo. 
Done  cunjuh  you,  done  cunjuh  you. 
Yon  b«        wmmt  ca&tal  now,  wiirtfh  yw 
do* 

'Caaa  yon  got  no  chance,  «a  •  HMbfai'  ii^, 
Oakw  yoa  got  a  goofdi-iaekl 


00 


THE  OLD  MAN  KNOWS. 

DAN,  youll  never  find  another 
Like  the  hand  of  yer  old  mother, 
Which  hat  worked  and  won  yer  bread. 
Yes,  more'n  that  if  all  be  said, 
Per  she  won  and  then  she  made  it. 
An'  such  bread!  You  wouldn't  trade  it 
Per  BO  banqoet,  if  you  knew 
How  youH  hoBCcr  when  ihe'a  through 
JMn'  fcr  yon.  Don't  yoo  a'poat 
Like  enough  the  old  man  knows? 

Yes.  I  know  it  ain't  as  milky 

In  its  looks,  nor  yet  as  silky 
In  its  feel  as  some  hands  be. 
But  if  these  old  eyes  can  see, 
Ev'ry  line's  a  line  of  beauty, 
Er  a  mark  fer  well  done  duty  I 
No  use  talkin',  Dan,  it's  so. 
Guess  the  old  man  ought  to  know. 

'Nd  how  cv'ry  faded  finger 
Loves  to  touch  you  'nd  to  linger 
Round  yer  hair.  Youll  understand 
Better,  some  day,  traut  that  hand. 
Nothin'  else  can  do  aa  much  aa 
TiMm  Mntc  tandar,  pcaceM  too^N. 

(?•) 


ADAM. 


ADAM,  made  of  common  earth, 
Seemed  to  be  of  litti*  wortiu 
Giving  him  hit  f  uU  cbMrt, 
Still  h«  Mcmed  h  cheap  aa  Art 

Smacked  a  good  deal  of  the  soil, 
Adam  did,  but  ahirked  all  toiL 
Yet  he  asked  no  man  for  trust. 
Being  simply  made  of  dust. 

Sandy  beard  and  sandy  hair; 
Also  had  a  stony  sure; 
And  before  hia  tMh  ran  blood 
I  suppose  his  name  was  mmL 

Poor  old  Adam,  formed  in  day. 
Wasn't  of  th«  stu£F  to  stay. 
One  OMre  process  WM  reqairsd: 
Tint's  lim  rsssan  Iw  «m  firsdt 


MOT  A  COON^Om  COON. 

T  '8B  a  rii^t  amalit  aigfrii, 

^      I  kin  read  en  I  kin  fiRgeh, 

En  I  doesn't  nuwer,  nuvver  play  no  cnqpt. 
I  doesn't  gi^e  a  bat.on 
Fo'  a  caka-walk  or  a  CBttin', 

fti  dat  am  tHiM  de  treaible  te.  ptflmpu. 
I  doesn't  spen'  meh  dollahs 
On  no  shiny  shoes  en  coUahs, 

En  meh  habits  sholy  ought  to  maka  a  Ut; 
But  da  ladiaa  aaama  to  ahaka  ma, 
la        aot  a  «aa  H  taka  aw— 

I  aiat  BOTvar  ia  M  a  |Bl  fHI 


DHfT  wn  coffaa-adlad  Jinqr 
En  Sooky  Loo  en  Minny 

En  freckled  Fan  en  Mandy  Ann  en  Sua; 
Dey  was  Tildy,  dey  was  Diorii 
En  Lace  an  Utda  Una; 

(X  mmrar  waatad  onV  daa  a  iawO 
Dey  was  Nance  dat  married  Palar, 
En  I'se  moughty  glad  he  beat  her; 

En  Ulussus  wa'n't  no  better,  ca'ae  dey  fit} 
But  she  wouldn't  leave  him,  no,  snh, 
WoaMat  marry  ma;  an  ao,  aoh, 

Z  aiat  aawar  k  had  a  giri  yitl 


<9i) 


RIMES   TO   BB  RBAD. 


I  hM  fometimes  wunde'd 

Ef  dew  niggehs  hM  'cm  caniuh'd: 

Ef  dey  hain't,  it  am  aonMpbi  mooi^ty  qottrl 
Dey  is  Race-Hoss  Bennie, 
He  doean't  seem  ao  many. 

But  he  gin'ally        married  yMwl 
Dey  waa  Peta  hav«  M*«n 
En  he  gwinter  come  daven 

En'  Ulussus  have  a  dozen  'for«  b*  qoit; 
Dey  all  done  have  so  many 
Dat  dey  haa  n't  luff  me  any— 

I  yst  wmv  is  had  a  gal  yitt 


(7«) 


AN  UNCONVENTIONAL  RUSTIC 

pOTRY  fdlm  ngw  we  Hk*  to  drtak 

*      Worter  from  the  ol'  mill  ttnam, 

Uk*  to  git  down  on  the  brink 

le'i  it  runs  right  down  Mr  atBauaick— "Bkt  a 

dream," 
Sajra  Oaaa  po^  men. 
Then  again 

They  uy  how  we  love  to  draw  it  from  the  well— 
"MoM-bound  bucket."  and  that  lort  o'  thin'. 
Says  we  much  prefer  a  gourd,  cr  ole  eea  ahall, 
Er  a  rusty  dipper,  aada  o*  tin 
Per  to  drink  it  fai. 
But.  by  Gee! 

Yar  cut  glass.  Irrvan  cfainy  ttrf  is  good  v  - 

f  er  me. 

Potry  UOm  aqra  Acre  itot  no  bad 

Quite  so  good  as  that  tm  in  dM  dd  hoaestea^. 

I  say  dum  it 
And  dad  burn  it  I 

Dnm  ita  feather  bed-tick  that's  ao  lum 
YA  sag  bstween 

All  the  slats  and  almost  touch  the  Moor 
If  yeh  weighs  ten  pounds  or  more. 
If  you're  thin 
Not  a  bone  fits  in 
To  a  aoft  wpot 
Like  it  oo^t. 

(77) 


Bnt  rubs,  nibs,  rubs,  on  some  btame  dat; 
So  if  I  know  where  I'm  at, 
Hairy,  springy,  couchy  dty  bedsH  do 
Ftr  OM.  I  jus'  teU  you! 

i»o'try  fellers  says  if  we  have  stacks 

Of  ham  fer  breakfas',  coffee  an'  flap-jack^ 

With  a  dinner  of  biled  cabbage  an'  corn  beef. 

An'  p'serves  an*  pie  fer  supper,  you  got  Uef 

To  have  all  die  reet  Is  'at  so? 

Guess  if  they  met  me  they'd  likely  know 

That  I'd  take  some  olives,  lemon  ice, 

Lobst-  .  salad,  bullion  an'  a  slice 

Of  boiled  tarpot,  with  some  tutty-frutty. 

An*  a  litde  of  that  etnff,  a  la  ^>aghutty, 

Frummidge,  ice  cream  an*  assorted  pie, 

Quail  on  puddin',  sherbet,  oyster  fry— 

Anythin'  else  yeh  got. 

An'  fetch  her  quick  an'  hot. 

Coffee?  No,  elr,  take  tiie  stuff  away; 

Pommy  Chartruee,  eatry  dry,  will  do  me  any  diy. 

Po'try  fellers  says  we  love  to  walk, 
'Cause  if  a  bealthfuller  an'  lots  more  air 
Sizzles  tiirough  yer  lungs,  an'  they  talk 
How  when  we  do  ride  'at  we  don't  care 
Fer  no  bridles,  but  jest  sUdes  •  - 

On  a  horse  an'  gits. 
Say  it  sort  o'  fits 
Ua  moat  to  take  straw-ridea. 


RIMES   TO   BB  READ 


'R  else  to  ride  the  good  tT-laMaatA 

In  the  'amfly  shay, 

Which  sin't  got  no  tpringa, 

Ner  cushions,  an'  iHiich  slings 

You'n  yer  girl  togetiier  (wiiidi  ydi  Bke) 

nil  it  steadies  when  jA  stfte 

The  d'  turn-pike. 

Po'try  feUers  talks  that  way. 

But  a-speakin'  fer  n^self.  I  mf 

A  aa^pmobOe-tal^he  wBl  do  me  any  day. 

Po'try  fellers  further  says  our  homes 
Is  pomes, 

Says  the  flicker  of  the  fire-place  la  •  aUit 
Chuck  fuU  of  warm  ds^^ 
WhUe  the  winter  bretaas  Undlr  baa  jk 
Through  the  cracks; 
Says  the  suller  an'  the  bntfqr  ia  Aa  beat 
To  keep  things  sweet  in. 
An'  the  sittin'  roomls  fer  ftat^ 
An*  the  kitchen  fer  to  eat  in. 
Says  tiiere  ain't  no  place  on  earth  quite  like  the 
attic, 

Speshly  wbm  the  weather's  rainy  an'  rumattie 

An'  it  ^attars  ob  Ot»  roof  ai^  on  the  pane, 

(Not  the  rumytism  doesn't,  but  ^tm  mIbI) 

Which  is  very  slick  an'  pretty. 

But  them  houses  in  the  dty. 

All  fixed  up  like  ole  Queen  Annie's  oaad  to  be. 


(7^ 


RIMES   TO    BE  READ. 


Brown  stone  roof  an'  mansard  front— by  QmI 
Such  a  house  is  good  enough  fer  me! 

Po'try  fellers  takes  a  lot  o'  pains 

To  show  they  got  no  brains. 

But  the  fooleat  tiling  thay  doaa  it  aeanw  to  hm— 

Is  to  chalk 

Down  tise  damdcst  lot  of  wor&  ym  ever  tee 

An'  say  that's  how  we  talk. 

Gosh  all  hemlockl  Why  they  chop 

Half  the  words  to  pieces  an'  they  stop 

'Fore  they've  finished  spellin'  of  'em, 

An*  tiiey'r*  full  of  little  wiggles  up  above  'em. 

Why,  ther  spellin*  would  ffisgrace  the  dumbest  fool 

In  the  speUin'  class  at  Diatfick  Scho<d. 

An'  ther  grammar's  die  moat  won*  yoo  vnt  tml 

Why,  if  you  an'  me 

Couldn't  talk  no  more  correcter — Geemeeneel 
*8ciise  me,  but  it  makes  me  hot  to  aa«  thin^  wrota 
that  way. 

Good,  old  Angly  Saaou  BagSah  titt  is  aay  A'>tca 
any  day. 


BEFORE  PLAYING  TINKSKfOWN. 

(A  Ditiajrithni  Citiwii  AdviMS  the  Ad»«iM 
Agent) 

OO  you're  goan  to  give  a  show? 
*^  Well,  I  s'pose  you  likely  know 
Yer  own  bus'ness,  but  I'm  glad 
— Ss  f er  me— I  never  had 
Money  in  the  show  biz  here, 
Fc;.'  rur  folks  is  mighty  queer. 
An'  you  see  when  they  first  built 
Our  new  Op'ry  House,  they  kilt 
The  hull  buincM.  'cauae  tliey  give 
Mot*  dwira  Aan  co^  luu  an*  live. 


"Qiv*  two  in  one  week,  one  time. 
One  was  minstrels.  They  was  prime  I 
Bnt  what  Idit  ua  waa  the  other; 

Some  blame  lecturer  or-ruther 
Talked  about  a  Chiny  wall 
An'  a  Pyramids  an'  all 
That  there  aort  o'  rot.  An'  so, 
Bein*  aa  feOn  had  paid,  you  know. 
Fifteen  cents  to  see  a  sliotc, 
Lots  of  'em  felt  ruther  sore 
Ai^  4oB*t  §D  to  Aam  no  mon. 


1 


RIMES   TO   BE  READ. 


"Course  your  show  is  good?  No  dmdM. 
But  you  see  the  town's  showed  out; 
Lcst'n  three  weeks  back  we  had 
Hamlttt    Had  it  party  bad. 
Actors— they  was  pnt^  Mi, 
Speshly  one  with  yeller  hair. 
He  had  taluntt  He  could  shout 
An'  jes'  drown  the  others  outl 
Bat  the  {day  itadf  was  sad. 
'Sides  it  was  a  dracgyf  bad 
Sort  of  sadncaa.  JJUnt  b«cin 
To  conw  np  M  or  Wm  Lpraat 


"Jabez  Tubbs,  he  sea,  sex  he, 
'111  Uke  ol'  East  Lynne  fer  mfe, 
Hebbe  these  new  plays  is  fine. 
But  111  take  the  ol'  fer  mine.' 
'Scoae  me  fer  goan  on  tWa  wagr, 
But  I'm  fMred  y«r  tham  wmt  pay. 


'It'a  a  bad  week  fer  a  show, 
•Caww  most  folks  tkM  ^  «•  •» 
Is  a-restin'  up  jest  now 
Fer  the  SociaL  An'  that* s  how 
Things  most  always  is  'round  hera. 
P'r'aps  there's  nothin'  fer  a  year. 
Then,  tttwH  thing  a  Mler  knows, 
Wtfn  jfUt  ovamm  with  ihaasi 
(«a) 


RIMES  TO 


BE  READ 

.  T 


"P'r'aps  a  Uttle  later  might 
Find  a  better  week  an'  nig)it 
Still,  I  dnnno,  fer  sea 
P'traeted  meetin'  soonll  be. 
An'  of  course  you  know  that's  free. 
An'  that  nachclly  kills  a  show 
Where  jroa  got  to  pay  to  git  to  go." 


(•3) 


t 


RIMBS   TO   BB  RBAD 


A  LITTLE  SAUNTER. 

^1^^  HEN  the  ran't  ••xorain'  up  'nd  ole  Earth  is 

Jttt  as  though  he'd  washed  his  face  'nd  hedn't  dried 
it  yet; 

Birds  fer  miles  'nd   miles   around   chipperin'  'n' 
singin', 

Pigs  a-gruntin'  music  fer  the  feed  the  man's  a 
bringin', 

Rooster  crowin'  fit  to  split  round  the  kitchen  door, 
Ans'erin'   "Good   mornin',"   to   a   half   a  dozen 
more, — 

Other  folks  can  roust  around,  but  for  me  I  wanter 

Take  a  little  saunter, 
Fm  op  full  of  green  'nd  bhw  in  a  little  saunter. 

When  the  sun's  a-goin'  down,  lasy  ex  you  please, 
Settin'  good  example  fer  a  man  to  take  his  ease; 
Cows  a-lyin*,  chewin',  'nd  a-wobblin',  etrly  bat 
Er  a  sparreh,  half  asleep,  flies  a-past  yer  hat; 
When  yev  hed  yer  supper  'nd  the  world  seems  good; 
When  the  air,  jest  laain'  round,  smdls  of  piaey 


TainH  no  time  to  roust  around,  "tad  far  me,  I  wanter 

Tai»  a  little  saunter, 
Jett  hang  back  V  let  my  legs  take  •  Utde 


(«4) 


When  you  almoit  ImI       meoa  ^-Mabif  on  yer 
back, 

(See  her  in  the  warter  'nd  the  seems  to  make  a  track 
Leadin'  off  to  Heaven,  jeit  a  eaay  diatanc*  waUdn';) 
When  W»  all  ae  itill.  a  aonnd  aeems  like  silence 

talkin'; 

Starry  eyes  a-gawpin'  like  the  childem's  to  a  story; 
Room  for  nodifai*  newfacra  'eqitia'        ^  God  "iid 

I  jeat  dassent  romf  around,  'nd  I  never  wanter 

Do  no  more  than  saunter. 
Fill  up  full  of  shiny  peace  in  a  little  saunter  I 


(•s) 


■4 


€0: 


■tMBS  TO   BB  READ. 


RSVBNOB. 

VEN  ich  and  Oretchen  married  got, 
Mein  olt  frient  Dunkelschwarzenrsth, 
He  don'd  coom  vere  my  veddin  eet, 
B«coi  I  Bcfcr  gone  by  heesl 

Aber,  I  get  me  efen  yet 
Dot  Dunkelschwarzenrath  is  deat. 
X  d(m'd  go  by  beet  fooneral-^einl— 
Becee  he  nefer  gone  by  ninei 


<«6) 


UNVERSTAENDLICH. 

HE  contrariest  ting  on  dhe  Erd  it  men, 
^    Aber  vinuneni  arr  twict  m  comriy  agaiii, 
Andt  Z  «B  yoost  so  contrary  as  yoa, 
Andt  yoa  arr  aa  worn  aa  <Bi«  wont  one,  too; 

Now,  aia'd  dtaat  ae? 

Yon  like  to  haf  hoonger  by  dinner,  yea  aay, 
Abci-  vhy  do  yon  eadt,  ao  dhat  hoengtr  go  'vay? 
Yon  Hke  to  be  tired,  to  yoa  acUaep  Uke  a  top, 
Andt  you  like  to  go  addaap,  to  dhat  tired  fodiag 

shtop; 

How,  aia'd  Oiat  aoF 

Yen  Hke  to  have  aogw  ea  aaaar  tlngi  you  eadt 
Andt  you  like  to  haf  aaaer  arft  Aa         i^  anr 
■weet 

Yon  like  to  be  cold  ▼hen  dh«  vetter  la  hot 
Aadt  ^Aml  it  ia  cold,  ach,  bow  varm  yon  voald  i^l 

Now,  aia'd  dhat  so? 

How  you  ehdare  at  dhe  man  vhat  can  valk  vc^  dhe 
street 

On  hia  haadta,  yet  yoa  valk  twice  ae  cooA  on  year 
feat> 

Vhat  a  long  mind  you  haf,  if  I  am  in  your  debt, 
Badt  if  you  arr  in  mine,  O.  how  quick  you  forgetl 

New,  ida'd  Aat  co? 

(87) 


t  .^.^^  1 


An  jrov  tinffit?  Yov  Um  to  bo  iBWfltd«  of  coufio. 
Art  yon  married?  Most  likely  you  like  a  tfvorooi 
Andt  if  yoQ  vas  get  yoa  unmarried,  why  <Sien 
Yob  go  ri^id  aray  and  got  married  again. 

Now,  ain'd  dhat  zo? 

You  vant  yoost  a  liddle  more  money?  Dhat's  true; 
Aadk  dbere'a  Mistare  Vanderbilt;  he  vanti  dwt  toa 
Yo«  romember  dhat  timo  dhot  yea  iriih  yoa  vr 
daadt? 

Bodk  if  I  tny  to  kill  yon,  you  boost  in  my  headt; 

Now,  ain'd  dhat  so? 

Zo.  I  t%ik  I  pelief  only  haf  vhat  I  know 
Andt  dhe  half  I  pelief  is  dhe  part  vhat  ain'd  zo. 
Aber,  I  don'd  complain,  for  dhat  makes  me  no  nse, 
For  if  I  m  •  Kad,  i/kf  yea  arr  a  goose; 

Now,  ain'd  dhat  zo? 

It  is  bedter  to  laugh;  it  is  foolish  u>  fight 

Yeeat  beanna  I  m  wrong  aad  bocraao  yoo  ain  d 

right. 

It  is  bedter  to  laugh  mit  dhe  vorld,  up  andt  down 
Prom  dhe  sole  of  oar  headt  to  dhe  foot  of  our 
crown:  Now,  ain'd  dhat  zo? 

Zo,  dhen  you  laugh  at  me  andt  dben  I  laugh  at  you, 
Andt  dhe  more  dhat  yoo  laugh  Thy  <Sm  mora  I 
laugh,  too, 

Andt  re  laugh  till  ve  cry!  Vhen  ve  cry,  aber  dhen, 
Vt  win  hot'  fed  so  goot  to  go  laughing  again  I 

Now,  ain'd  dhat  so? 

m 


RIMES   TO   BB  BBAD. 

1 


KATIB  AN*  MX. 

Och,  but  the  heart  of  me't  breakin',  ier  loret 
The  moon  has  turned  grane  and  the  ran  has  turaad 
yallow, 

And  Oi  am  tamed  botit  and  a  dUerent  fallow. 
The  poipe  of  me  lutfluiine  la  loefai'  Us  tastes 
Some  illlgant  whuakey  is  goin*  to  waste; 
Me  heart  is  that  impty  and  also  me  arnim; 
Pertaties  an'  bacon  have  lost  all  their  charrum, 
And  Oi  feel  like  a  tonbatone,  wid  crape  on  the  dors 
Maea  KMia  and  urn  a'n't  ingaged  anay  moor. 

Tit  most  of  the  world  is  s-movin'  alang 
As  if  there  was  nawthin'  at  all  goin'  wraaf. 
Oi  notice  the  little  pigs  Ue  in  the  mad, 
An*  the  fool  of  a  eem  fa  ailll  dMwia*  her  end; 
The  shky  is  still  blue  and  the  grass  is  still  bright; 
The  stars  shine  in  hivin  in  paceful  delight; 
The  little  waves  dance  on  the  brist  of  the  lake; 
Tim  Doaaelly'a  dead  aa'  tiiair^  havia'  a  waha. 
Mf  tfw  wesMPk  fidi  to  J^i  amd  il^  only  me'a  poor, 
ttaea  Kalia  aad  oh  tftft  faigigM  aaay  asoer. 

She  was  always  that  modest  and  awate.  Oi  dadara 
She  wad  blush  full  as  rid  as  Iter  illigant  hair 
At  tfM  tfoaght  ol  aaodNr  mm  aMBa'  the  taata 
Of  her  ^a,  or  aae«har  aaaa'a  arran  Voond  her  waist 


MKXOCOPV  MSOUniON  TBT  CHART 

(A^4SI  and  ISO  TEST  CHART  No.  2) 


/APPLIED  irVMGE  Ine 

1653  EasI  Ma^n  Street 

Rochester.  New  torh       14609  USA 

(7'6)  482  -  0300  -  Phone 


€0= 


An'  nom  och,  MeCarney,  luk  out,  or  Oill  break 
Yer  carcass  in  fragmints  an'  dance  at  yer  wake. 
As  you're  dancin'  at  Donnelly'st  What  shud  Oi  fear? 
Purgatory?  Not  mooch,  fer  the  same  is  right  here. 
Wid  me  heart  on  the  briler,  an'  niver  a  cure. 
Since  Katie  and  me  a'n*t  ingaged  anny  moor. 


(go) 


DAT  OAWOY  WATAHMILLON. 

/\,  DAT  Oawgjr  watahmOlon,  an*  dat  gil  ob 

Gawgy  wif  'ml 
She  foun'  'm  an'  she  poun'  'm  an'  he  ripe  enough  to 
lif  'm. 

I  tote 'm  to  it  well  an'  den  we  cool 'm  in  de  watah. 
An'  we  brees  de  Lawd  foh  Ubin',  like  a  Gawgy  nig- 

gah  ought  to. 
She  pat  him  an'  she  punk  him,  like  ol'  mammy  wif 
de  chillun. 

An'  ma  haht  it  done  keep  pnnkin'  ev'y  time  she  ponk 
de  milloni 

I  look  into  huh  yalla  eyes  an'  feel  dat  I  can  trus'  'm, 
An'  den  I  take  de  millon  an'  X  drop 'm  down  an'  boa' 
'm. 

O,  dat  Gawgy  watahmillon  wif  de  sweet  an'  coolin* 

flowin'l 

Poke  youah  face  deep  down,  ma  honey,  an'  jes'  keep 

youah  mouf  a-goin*. 
Dar  ain't  no  nse  ob  taUdn'.  bat  I  'dar  to  Gord  I'se 

wflUn' 

Foh  to  nebeh  hab  no  haab'n  *oipt  dat  Gawgy  gal  an* 

milloni 


Foh  dey  filled  de  haht  an'  itomach  ob  dis  happy 

(Hiwgy  niggah, 
An'  he  couldn'  be  no  fnllah,  Ian  de  Lcbd  done  make 

him  biggab. 

(91) 


BIMB8  TO   BB  BBAD. 


NATHANS  FLAT. 

"M  ATHAN  wrote  that  he  V  hit  wife  was  livin'  in 
a  flat 

"Gradout  mer  laya  vaoQm,  wtat  aort  o* 

plaet  ia  thatr 
nVeU."  I  tays.  'Wumm^f  tlMm  Ibm  piMea.  doat 

you  know, 

•At  folks  live  in,  likely,"  an'  mother  says,  "Jaaaor 
But  'boot  a  half  hour  latai;,  aba  broka  oo^  Td  fiva 
a  cent 

If  I  Goald  aoct  0^  ponte  ooi  lOm  MMMa  laal^ 

meant" 


a?  Toa 


tall  'em 


bat  it's  jut  aa 
uf  yah  ttfadt 


Now,  ain't  that  lika  a  w« 

iriut  ia  yrbats 
Tea  can  show  'em  jUta  m 

like  at  not 
When  ye've  argied  an'  convinoad 

f*v  wutdf  fetchad  'em, 
ThayV  boat  out  Joat  vrfiere  they  started,  tame  at 

though  yeh  hadn't  teched  'em. 
"Well,"  I  says,  "weTl  go  to  see  'em,  then,  an'  tfaatU 

stop  yer  clatter," 

Fw:  I  own  that  I  waa  cat*OBa  Mw,  nupaall,  Aoai  tiw 
mattarf 

So  we  went  an'  Natfm  owt  m  Wthft  m  gtad  to 
aee  hia  facet 

Aa^  ha  rid  08  OB  a  cOUa  tiB  w  raochad  o  atoppia* 


(93) 


IF 


An*  saya,  "Here  we  attV  an'  firat  I  knowed  I  wm 

a-standin'  there 
A-ga«pin*  at  a  buildin'  that  was  higher  in  the  air 
Than  tfM  Fresbyteican  itMpIc  An'  I  aaya,  "My 

conscience,  Nat, 
It  can't  be  sech  a  stnck-np  tWng  Is  what  yeh  cdl  a 

flat?" 

But  he  only  smiled  an'  nodded  an'  he  took  us  in  the 

liall, 

An'  mother  aays,  "Why,  Nathan,  dew  yeh  occipy  it 

anr 

Then  we  got  into  a  little  co«>p»  ««'  Nathan  he  says 
"Sevenr 

An'  in  anoAtr  Mceod  w  WM  shootin'  op  to 
heaven. 

Motfier  shet  her  teeth  an'  hdt  bar  bnatii  an'  trem- 
bled 'roun'  the  eyes. 
An'  my  hurt  fell  in  oqr  atooadu  it       lacfa  a  aad- 

den  rise. 

Then,  in  another  jiffy,  w,  was  into  Nathan^  Hat— 
Sis  rooms,  about  Aa  ^     Utttt,  mef  dam  amall 
three  at  that. 

But  some  tithtgawMpcattirlUBidy.  Thqrwma^acM 

in  the  wall 

Where  ye'd  go  an'  talk  to  people  'at  yeh  coaldnt 
see  at  all. 

There  was  one  place  where  ye'd  turn  a  wheel  to 

squirt  a  little  heat. 
An'  tiie  cellar  nw  •  little  box  containin'  things  to 

eat  (94) 


TO    BE  READ. 


/ 


Then  Aere  wu  one  eztravygance  '«t  mother 

thought  «  sin; 
They  had  q;>iled  a  good-aiwd  do'a»^raaa  f «r  to  pot 

a  bath-tBb  in. 
Gecl  it  made  me  think  o'  tembtttMMS,  h  «m  t*I  ao 

white  and  shiny, 
Bot  mother  sht  padead  into  it  an*  ai^s  1  rum;  it's 

chinyl" 

HWMo'a  wife  waa  Idad  o'  laughin',  so  I  fixed  my 
eyes  on  her. 

An'  says,  solemn,  "Read  yer  Bible  of  the  iriiitad 
Mpiddwal 

"RMh-tQlMl  Why,  if  rd  •  mind  to,  I  could  tell  yeh 
pretty  quick 

Of  the  time  when  Nathan's  bath-tub  waa  the  hnU  o' 

Simpson's  eredrl 
An'  the  aonaUaa  wm  Ua  only  towvl.  or  if  by  a» 

Ha  couldn't  wait  far  dryia'.  wily  ha  oaad  Ida  COM  an' 

pants. 

An'  en  Sat'dy  nights  In  wiatar,  motlwr'd  fetch  ttw 
washin'-tub. 

Ah*  she'd  heat  enough  of  water  fer  all  ban's  to  take 
a  scrub. 

An'  she'd  pester  Nat,  'Git  ready!'  tiU  at  laat  he'd 

sort  o'  squeak, 
'Ma,  I  honeat  doat  balieva  I  hardly  aaad  a  bMh  tUa 

(SS) 


'4  ■  . 


l-i>  * 


But  the'd  shet  him  in  the  kit«       an*  he'd  gnm*  «o* 

puff  an'  spatter, 
Xill  you'd  thought  a  tteamboat  b\ut-up  was  the  least 
could  be  the  matter." 

"Yes,  an'  then  I'd  mop,"  says  mother,  "an*  blow  out 

the  kitchen  light. 
An*  I'd  foller  Nat  upstairs  to  kiss  my  littlt  / 

'Good  Bightl* 
Aa*  it  kind  o'  seemed  that  ne  an'  God  waa  watchin 

there  by  Nat, 
But  I  don't  belie**  Yd  erer  hav«  aedi  fi»eUii*a  in  • 

flatl" 


(96) 


"OUR  CLUB."->THE  IRISH  MEMBER'S 
TOAST. 


THE  sharp  adft  of  hanctr       tnmtd  and  dM 
Chair 

Arose  to  inform  us  we  aU  nii^t  prep*"* 

For  a  stoc7,  a  toast,  or  utf  good  Ut 

Which  entered  the  head  of  an  owner  of  vit. 

And  for  fear  Cottar  lOUilmi'a  tengm  aiMNdd  groir 

balky. 

By  mixing  Kentucky  with  part  of  Milwaukee, 
We'd  hear  from  him  first,  and  his  toast  was  "Oar 
Caob.** 


As  soon  as  his  fellows  had  laughed  at  Aa  ndb 
Which  the  chairman  had  given  the  Iriahmaa  roaa^ 
Upholding  his  liquid,  and  said,  '7  siqtpose 
Ivry  mother's  gossoon  of  ye's  achin'  to  drink 
The  toast  to  our  club,  so  let  yer  bowls  clink! 
Yez  can  drink  it  in  potcheen  or  drink  it  in  watter. 
An',  barrin'  the  taste,  I  would  say,  drink  the  lattar; 
Far  if  yes  do  not,  I  will  give  ye  fidr  wam^n*. 
Yell  find  that  it's  watter  ye  want  in  the  mamin'. 
But  drink  watter  now  an*  yell  feel  extry  foine 
An'  won't  be  a-wantin'  a  hat  noomber  noine. 
Per  111  tell  ye  the  traf — to  the  ahanw  of  the  AfO— 
It  doot  do  to  treat  tiw  potcheen  over  dviL 


(97) 


Joit  M  IBM  u  7*  op***  T*'  ^oor  to  the  cntur, 
H«  hints  tiiat  his  brotfitr  is  fintr  or  nater, 
An*  then  they  both  say  that  thair  coosin  is  swatar. 
An*  then  that  the  family  should  be  mora  complater. 
An'  they  have  a  gay  toima  an*  ye  find,  to  yer  aorra. 
Though  yell  awear  thay  were  lodged  in  yer 

stBiiiMfhi  bagoRVt 
y«t  an  of        OOP  in  jrar  hand,  by  tomorral 

"But  drink  to  our  club  ia  what  liquid  ye  wiah; 
Drink  deep  aa  a  camel  and  free  as  a  fish. 
Though  we  can  H  a  dub,  let  that  club  be  a  sldf  I 
Let  it  always  be  used  in  a  brother'a  behalf— 
A  support  for  his  need  and  a  reat  for  Ua  handl 
Though  we  call  it  a  club,  let  that  club  be  a  wand!— 
Hie  same  aa  thim  wanda  that  tiie'  fairies  used  much. 
Let  BO  heart  be  ao  hvrd  but  to  malt  M  ita  toodil 
As  we  call  it  a  club,  when  we  aee  anny  wrang, 
Let  us  take  up  our  club  an'  go  aftw  it  atrang; 
Lat  it  swing  for  tiw  right,  brodMrt,  aNMir  and 
daily. 

Though  w«  caU  H  a  ddk,  let  H  be  a  ridUalyr 


(08) 


"OUR  LADIES."— THE  POET'S  TOAST. 

A TOAST  from  the  poet,  I  think,  would  be  ple«s> 
•nt," 

Cried  he  at  the  banquet's  head 

"A  toaat  from  the  poet  I"  cried  every  one  preaent, 

Aad  tlM  pott  aroM  and  wMt 


"Mr.  Chairman,  I  greet  you  and  all  of  your  host; 
My  comrades,  your  friendship  is  ever  my  boast; 
And  lastly,  fair  ladies,  'tis  you  whom  I  toast. 
Though  I  mention  you  last,  it  is  not  uxf  intent 
To  NckoB  ym  IcMt.  First  to  wofth  is  not  meant 
When  we  place  the  soft  mollusk  or  thin  consommi 
At  the  top  of  the  menu,  and  r.3  one  will  say 
The  piece  de  resistance  is  less  of  a  dish 
Just  because  further  down  on  the  list  than  the  fish. 


"Mother  Eve,  yon  remember,  was  last  in  formatien. 
Which  proves  she  was  apex  of  all  the  creation. 
For  first  i^cared  grasses  and  herbs  and  the  bviU, 
And  tfian  cama  tta  ftihaa,  tita  fdiria  aad  dw  brata% 
Then  Adam;  ud  marti  yen  liow  aadi  fona  graar 
higher. 

But  still  there  was  left  something  t.iore  to  desire. 
For  though  aU  life  was  there,  flora,  fauna  and  lra> 


Paradba  could  not  ba  until  also 
(99) 


J 


And  to  she  wu  made  from  a  imall,  bony  part 
Which  U  nearest  (pliMa  oota  mSl  A*  qmAol) 
mm'a  haarti 

And  hanea.  aiaca  tiiat  tima,  tia  nan'a  ddafaat  aa- 

deavor 

To  get  back  that  rib,  and  'twill  be  so  forever. 

Horn  broad  ia  tha  thama  of  my  toaatinx— Our 
Ladiaat 

PMod   daughters  of  CNm^  and  iSm  Maoaa 

O'Gradyi. 

The  Friulein  of  Berlin,  thr  Donas  of  Cadiz, 
Tha  Aimaa,  tha  Fanniaa,  the  Adaa,  the  Sadies, 
An,  an,  hi  BOOM  iiwsiiilliis  hearts  an  •Oar  Ladtoa.* 

"Oar  Ladha?  Oar  awtfiara,  qaaaa-aagala  ti  Karth. 
Oar  wives,  or  oar  awaalhaails  tongaa  SaO»  at  jroar 

worth! 

O,  is  there  a  grief  which  o'ershadows  the  day 
Which  by  wooaa'a  aoft  breath  ia  aot  waftad  away? 
O,  ia  tiwra  a  lieart,  adaaaunfaia,  antara. 
Which  melts  not  beneath  a  pure,  womanly  tear? 
And  what  soured  ascetic  who  does  not  rejoica 
la  tiw  grace  of  har  i^aaea^  of  bar  aoiDa^  of  har 


"O,  have  you  an  armor,  so  tempered,  so  true. 
That  a  woman's  sliarp  tongue  cannot  pierce  through 
aad  tiuMi|b? 


voice? 


(100) 


And  t»n  BM  of  argniiMiits,  rMMns  or  laws. 
Which  bear  iMli  ol  iho         of  a  wmm^ 
cauM.' 

"Onr  Lmlltu,  enduring,  considerate,  meek; 
Our  Ladie*.  contrary,  irrational,  weak; 
Kind  hearted,  yet  cruel;  obliging,  perverse. 
Which  is  why  they  are  taken  for  btttto  o 

Do  yea  think  the  description  is  rather  collates? 
to  h  is,  but  just  so  is  the  feminine  sex; 
Yet  without  the  sex.  Heaven  itself  were  a  Hades. 
For  Haavtn  is  inyiriMrt  iriiart  art  Oar  Ladtaa." 


(lOl) 


AFTER-DINNER  APOLOGY  OF  LB 
COMTB  CRAPAUD. 

IVOULD  yon  make  ze  little  speak  avec  plaisir, 
Boat  et  ess  not  moach  long  sat  I  been  here, 
Ant  I  am  timid  sat  I  qieak  soam  wrmig. 
Bccos  I  know  ids  langvids  not  moach  long. 


"Zis  Englees  langvids  I  not  understand  nte  moach. 

Eet  ees  not  logical,  eef  I  can  jodge, 

For  eet  ees  not  long  since  I  am  invite 

Au  Chi-ca-go  to  see  ze  many  sight. 

Ant  cere  I  tint  I  alvays  spoke  ze  vay 

I  do  not  spoke  to  spoke  se  vhat  I  say. 

Zey  to  me  show  se  bail«Eni{  high,  liigh,  high! 

Zey  call  him,  voila!  scrai^er-of-ze-sky. 

I  look  o^on  ze  mud  down  at  ze  street 

Ant  wish  wtff  had  se  scr^^-of-s*>street. 


"Zey  take  me  to  ze  yard  vhere  ees  ze  stock — 
Ze  peeg— ten  tousan'  tousan'  peeg— vat  you  call 
•hock!' 

Zat  night  at  a  r«-cep-ae-ong,  sey  to  me  say, 
'Ant  how  you  like  Chi-ca-go  sees  fairst  day?* 

I  say  'Oh,  magnifiquel  I  not  can  like  it  more; 
I  never  meet  so  many  hock  in  all  my  life  before!' 
But  sen  I  fint  I  have  not  spoke  ze  vay 
X  wghf  to  q>oke  to  spoke  ze  vhat  I  aa^t 
(loa) 


"Zen  Bome  one  speak  about  ze  trust  ant  I  say  out, 
'Vhat  ees  zees  trust  I  hear  so  moach  about?' 
Zey  say  eet  ees  a  com-bin-a-se-ong  of  ze  stock. 
'Stock?  stock?'  I  Mqr.  'Zea  cm  n  tmt  mora 
"hockl"' 

Zey  say  sat  X  funm  right  ant  sen  zey  roar. 

Ant  ah!  I  fint  I  am  a  zhoke  once  more. 
I  fint  zere  ees  a  trust  in  zees— in  zat. 
Trust  in  ze  shoe  down  here,  oap  in  x»  bait, 
A  trust  in  vhat  you  eat,  you  drink,  yoa 
A  trust  in  eferyzing  ant  eferyvherel 
By  gar,  I  meet  a  man  zat  have  a  vife — 
La  plus  jolie  I  ever  see  in  all  my  life. 
Zat  genteel  man  he  say,  he  tells  me,  sir, 
He  have  •  tmat,  •  patefect  tmst— in  hetl 
Trait  in  hees  vifel  ma  foil  I  am  lo  shockl 
Ant  zen  I  ask  vhat  he  will  take  for  all  ze  atock. 
But  ah  I  I  find  he  have  not  spoke  ze  vay 
Ha  cnifitt  to  ^dn  to  qtolw  ae  v«t  ha  mf. 

"For  eet  ees  soach  a  fonny  langvids,  ouii 
Not  long  ago,  one  evening,  coam  to  me 
One  ver*  good  friend,  as  eet  ees  getting  dark 
Ant  aay,  'Coam,  let  us  go  tipoa  at  lark,' 
I  say  'Bh  bien,  I  go,'  for  I  not  like  to  tell 
Zat  I  not  understand  him  ver'  moach  welL 
A  lark?  Zat  ees  a  bird,  scion  Webstaire, 
Ze  gentilman  zat  write  ze  dictionaire; 
Boat,  ahl  I  fint  I  haf  not  naderMood. 
I  fiat  ito  lack  aaa  not  a  bird  moadi  food. 

(103) 


TO  BE 


"Eet  ees  ver'  late  zat  I  am  get  to  bed 

Ant  zen  I  feel  so  strange  oap  in  ze  head. 

I  am  so  bad  I  not  can  sleep,  ant  so 

I  liaa  moach  early  ant  I  go  below; 

Ant  zere  I  iint  ze  hotel-clerk  who  coam  ant  aajr 

'Monsieur,  you  get  oap  wiz  ze  lark  to-dayf 

I  say  'Non,  non,  madame;  oh,  my  poor  head! 

Eet  ees  wiz  zat  bad  bird  I  went  to  bed  I 

X  not  get  oap  wis  him.  Yoo  are  moach  wrong; 

I  am  alrcaty  wis  sat  bird  too  long.' 

"He  laugh  so  moach  I  seenk  his  face  ees  break; 
I  not  know  why  onless  I  speak  meestake; 
Ant  so,  I  will  not  make  ze  speak  to-ni|^ 
For  I  am  timid  sat  I  not  apeak  right." 


(104) 


RIMBS   TO  BB 


«<THB  OTHER  ONE  WAS  BOOTH." 

(SoggtMed  by  comrerMtiotw  with  certain  "retired" 
•cton.) 

II^OW,  by  the  rood,  as  Hamlet  njn,  it  grieves  me 
*  '    sore  to  say 

The  stage  is  not  as  once  it  was,  triwn  X  was  wont 
to  play; 

Us  tme  Hank  Irving,  dear  old  chap,  still  gives  a 
decent  show. 

And  Mansfield  and  Ed  Willard  really  act  the  best 
they  know; 

Tis  true  that  Duse  and  Bernhardt,  f  «r  we  nmtn't  be 
too  hard. 

Are  very  fair  (for  women)  tiioai^  ei  coarse  tiiqr 

ought  to  guard 
Against  sone  bad-art  tendsndes;  bat  as  f or  all  tiis 

rest. 

There's  liardly  one,  I  may  say  none,  who  stands  the 
artist's  test. 

True  artists  are  a  rare,  rare  breed;  there  were  but 

two,  forsooth. 
In  all  me  time,  the  stage's  prime;  and  tiM  otlMr  one 
Booth. 


"Why,  Mac — I  mean  Macready— but  we  alw^ 

called  him  Mac, 
And  old  Ned  Forrest  ued  to  say,  or  so  tiiey  once 

told  Jack; 


Or,  tlwt  if.  Jack  MeCidloagli.  tliM-^mll,  tUs  is 

what  they  said; 

'There  were  but  two  who  really  knew  how  Shake- 
speare should  be  read.' 

They  didn't  mean  the  younger  Kean,  or  Jack;  and 
so  perhaps 

It  caused  a  little  jealousy  among  the  letter  cfaapa. 
They  said  that  Larry  Barrett  was  entitled  to  r«- 

s^ect. 

But  aa  for  Tom  Salvini,  well,  his  dago  dialect 
Woold  never  do  for  Shakespeare;  ao  to  tdl  As  aim* 

pie  tr  h. 

There  were  only  two  men  in  it;  and  ths  oOsr  ons 
was  Booth. 

"Doat  Afaik  conceit  is  in  me  tooRns;  lis  sons- 

tiiing  I  detest: 
But  I  may  say  that  in  me  day  I've  figured  w*th  tin 

best. 

Why,  Kalamaxoo,  and  Oshkosh,  too,  and  Kankakee 
as  well. 

Went  fairly  wild,  nor  man,  nor  eWld,  stirred  wb»u 

the  curtain  fell. 
Tlw  8.  R.  O.  was  hung  each  aiglits  oar  diow  was 

such  a  rage 

They  took  tlw  nslwrs  off  As  floor  and  whsrsd 

from  the  stage. 
From  Buazard's  Bay  to  San  Jo86,  from  Nawrleans 
to  Duluth, 

Just  two  stars  hit  a  little  bit;  and  the  other  one  was 
Booth.  (io6) 


0 

£  I 


€0. 


V 


';  i 

w 


1  liked  Ned  Booti^  f or  he       soch  a  royal-hMrtad 


We  never  bad  a  jealousy.  When  he  put  on  Othello 
Hii  lago  was  much  ^ke  to  mine,  likewiie  bis  stage 
(Hnctionj 

Bnt  what  cared  Ed  wliat  crities  Hid,  ifaioa  I  niadt 
no  objection? 

Ah,  mel  That  day  is  past;  ibm  pUj  has  lort  its  hon- 
ored station; 

Who  reads  arii^  rage,  sorrow,  fright,  or  tragic 
desolation? 

Aye,  who  can  reach  to  Hamlet's  sptech.  To  be  or 
not  to  be?' 

Or  wfld  Ifacbeth's  cry,  'Never  shake  diy  gwy  locks 
atmsr 

Or  Lmo'u  appeal:  'O.  let  bm  not  b«  nmd,  swMt 

Heavens,  not  mad!' 
Or  Shjdock's  rage:  Til  hav*  am  bnndr  Ah,  ma;  tt 

«im%ift  sad 
To  tfdnk  it  an,  aad  tiien  ree;*!!  the  draua  of  me 

youth. 

When  there  were  two  w^o  read  lines  tme;  and  the 
otfMV  coo  was  Booth." 


fellow. 


I 


RIMES   TO   BB  RBAD. 


GOING  HOME  TO  MOTHER. 

IT  WM  fifty  ye«n  ago,  and  one  day  we 
Had  et  our  dinner  by  a  big  oak  tree. 
(I  often  wonder  if  that  tree  atill  atands, 
It's  green  arms  beckonin'  to  tired  farm-handa.) 
It  wa'n't  quite  time  to  go  to  work  again. 
When  one  young  chap  he  jumpa  vp  quick  and 


"I'm  a-goin'  home  to  mother,  boys,"  he  said, 
"Althoogh  she  doesn't  know  it,  an*  pahap*  ahe 

thinks  I'm  dead. 
I  went  away  when  I  was  young,  y'  aae,  ^ 
Bat  now  I'm  vnt  twan^r  and  I  got  nnwre  aanaa. 

says  he. 


•*1  swear  I  dont  know  why  I  went,"  he  aaya. 

"Somehow, 

The  very  strongest  reasons  then  seem  mighty  fool- 
iA  now. 

Some  thoughtless  word  I  said  stirred  up  the  brine; 
1  s'pose  no  mother  never  loved  a  son  much  more'n 

mine," 

He  said,  "and  every  least  word  hurt.  What  fools  we 
are 

To  never  learn  the  carelaaa  cot  may  leave  th«  deep- 
est scar! 

(xoS) 


"But  now  I'm  goin'  home  again,"  he  said. 
"I'm  like  the  prodigal  and  tired  of  buskj  inatead  of 
bread 

lU  tell  her  I  waa  wrong!— and  Meaa  herl  ahe  waa 

human. 

O,  yes.  I  know;  I  g$iA  twu  no  tiaa  talldn'  to  an 

angry  woman. 
But  Lord!  a  woaum  nd^t  be  Hranan'  to  another. 
But  to  her  boy  die  ongfatn*t  to  be  anything  bat 

mother. 

"An'  so  I'm  goin'  home  again,"  he  said. 

"My  shonlder  la  just  achin'  for  the  pressure  of  he- 

hcrd. 

My  lips  are  fixed  to  show  her  what  is  what. 
And  these  arms  will  soon  convince  her  how  long 
and  strong  they've  got. 

"You  can  laugh,  boys,  if  you  want,"  the  youngster 

said. 

His  lips  a-pressin'  tighter  and  a  firameas  to  his 
head. 

But  there  wasn't  any  laughin'.    When  you  look 

deep  down  a  heart 
An*  see  its  noblest  feelin's,  'tisn't  laughter  that'll 

atart. 

"But  here's  for  home  and  mother,  boysl"  he  aaid. 
And  he  went.    God  help  him  I  for  In  found  hia 
mother  dead. 

(105) 


SiM  had  art  a«d  calUn'  for  Mm.  and  h«r  breast 
N«vw  katw  fHuwe  ttriclmi  hMd  mak  Hun  to  rest 

Tm  a-goin*  home  to  mother,"  he  had  said, 
But  O,  the  mighty  difference  when  the  lovin'  lips 
are  dead; 

A  coffin  is  an  awM  thing  lor  a  feUow*!  laet  em- 
brace. 

And  your  hottest  teara  can  never  warm  that  cdd 

'nd  quiet  face. 
Crying,  ain't  X?  But  tiiat  boy  was  tot.  That  motiicr 

was  my  own. 
And  though  it's  years  and  years  ago,  since  I  was 

left  alone. 

Still,  I  think  of  her  at  midnight,  and  I  dream  of  her 
at  noon. 

For  rm  goin'  home  to  moUiar  pretty  soon.  new~ 
pretty  soon. 


RIMB8   TO    BE  READ. 


A  COURTIN'  CALL. 

HIM! 

UE  dreaied  hisself  from  top  t*  toe 
*  *   T  beat  the  Utes'  fudi'n. 
He  gave  bis  boots  •  cxtry  i^ow. 
His  dicky  cUstnred  like  the  snow, 
He  slicked  his  hair  exactly  so. 

An'  all  t*  indicate  "his  pash'n." 
He  tried  his  boll  three  ties  attum 
He  kep'  A*  on*  Ml  that  bt  won. 


All  afternoon  she  laid  abed 

To  make  her  featchurs  brighter. 
She  tried  on  ev'ry  geoun  she  bed. 
She  rasped  her  naUs  until  they  bled, 
A  doasa  times  die  Mncd  her  head 

An'  put  on  stuff  to  make  her  whiter. 
An'  fussed  till  she'd  'a'  cried,  she  said 
But  that  Id  make  her  eyva  so  rad. 


They  sot  together  in  the  dark 
•Ithout  a  light,  excep'  their  spark. 
An'  neither  could  have  told  er  guessed 
What  way  Ac  t'other  im  was  dresssd. 


HBSI 


THSMI 


("0 


-- 

-"2;  .1 


RIP  VAN  WINKLE. 


than  of 


pONDER  of  Schnappi  and  Schneider 

A  shifdfs*.'  thriftless,  rude,  unlettered  lof 
Who  waUowed  in  a  slimy,  drunken  bog: 
Well-meaning  and  ill-acting;  appetite 
As  dry  as  was  his  wit;  a  joUy  wight 
With  follies  to  exhaust  the  catalogue; 
WelwilU  good-tempered,  sinful  and  contnte. 
Without  one  element  of  manly  might. 
Save  that  the  chUdren  loved  Wm-md  Wa  dog. 

And  yet  he  makes  the  laughter-laden  lip 
Turn  to  a  tremble,  while  the  . hot  tears  flow; 
Then  mock  it.  own  emotion  by  J°";?»1'P 
To  sudden  n-:  %  because  we  love  him  so. 
For  human  w.aVness  in  the  'ascal.  Rip. 
Becomes  a  humane  strength  in  actor  Joe. 


(iia) 


A  MULB  OP  ARKANSAS. 


THOU  patient,  plodding  piece  of  bone  and  fladll 
Thou  MntUnt  tomething,  tangled  in  •  nMb 
Of  iBtal  bdagi  I  cobM  weep  for  thee, 
Bat  Aoo,  tboB  eeaMM  as  iimly  wmr  for  mm. 

Not  knowing  why  nor  whither  I  am  driven. 
To  ma  tha  urging  lash  ia  likewise  given; 
HUcbed  to  Ois  dng  of  life,  I  may  not  Idtar. 
Nor  wander  paat  Aa  poll  of  rein  or  haltar. 

Poor  thou,  poor  II  yet,  comrade,  were  we  froa, 
Tha  wwld  might  loaa  the  little  wa  may  ba. 
Along  Ate  itraitaned  path,  perhapa  "tia  beat. 
Wo  mgr  mi  Vatur  and  wo  data  net  mt 


<"5) 


If 


I* 


TO  BE 


I' ' 

■iii 

I 


V      THE  BEAST  AND  HIS  BURDEN. 

I^RESH  from  his  valet,  breathing  forth  perfume, 
^       Swathed  in  the  softest  product  of  the  loom. 
Full-fed  and  arrogant,  the  beggar  rode 
And  cursed  the  laboring  beast  which  he  bestrode. 
A  pleasant  beggar  he,  who  asked  mere  mites. 
Such  as  Possession  of  the  Public  Rights, 
Franchises,  Rights  of  Way,  and  title  deeds 
To  profit  by  our  children's  children's  needs. 

Another  leaped  upon  the  laboring  beast 

Which  faltered  as  he  felt  the  load  increased. 

The  beggar  burned  with  wrath,  but  found  relief 

To  see  it  was  his  trusted  friend,  the  thief, 

A  man  to  scale  a  Congress,  tie  the  hands 

And  gag  the  tongues,  while  forcing  his  demands 

For  booty  and  for  boimty.  Yet  so  wise 

A  cracksman  he,  he  puts  it  in  the  guise 

Of  benefit  to  others,  so  that  we 

Snatch  off  our  hats  to  him  and  bow  the  knee. 


But  now  the  beast,  by  some  strange  impulse  fired. 
Cried  out:  "Get  off  my  back,  for  I  am  tired. 
I  want  to  roll  upon  the  earth.   I  need 
To  rest  a  little  and  I  want  more  feed." 
"BeastI"  cried  the  beggar,  striking  with  his  goad, 
"We  only  ride  to  keep  you  in  the  road. 
Did  we  not  ride  and  feed  you,  you  would  wander 
And  sta'-ve  to  death  out  in  the  grasses  yonder." 
(xt6) 


RIMES    TO    BE  READ 


"Ass!"  cried  the  thief,  "are  you  too  blind  to  see. 
'Tis  not  your  vulgar  strength  which  carries  me. 
But  I  support  you  by  this  tight-drawn  rein? 
And  I  am  almost  weary  of  the  strain. 
So  if  you  hint  again  you  want  to  stop, 
I  swear  111  loose  the  rein  and  let  you  drop." 
The  tailoring  beast  cried  out  in  great  alarm 
And  prajred  tiie  thief  to  keep  ■  steady  arm. 
And  still  he  keeps  his  patient,  weary  stride. 
And  still  the  thief  and  beggar  calmly  ride. 


A  PRICELESS  PARADISE. 

IP  tome  weird  gnome  should  seek  mj  home. 
Some  genie  ^airy,  witch. 
To  blink  my  eyes  with  every  prize 

Of  life,  and  ask  me  "Which?" 
I  think  I'd  choose,  in  half  a  trice, 
This  boon:  to  never  ask  the  price. 

I  would  not  claim  a  gilded  name, 

Or  be  a  financier. 
Nor  would  I  hold  the  wide  world's  gold; 

And  yet  I  somewhat  fear 
I'd  ask  a  just  sufficient  dice 
That  I  might  never  ask  the  price. 

A  coat-of-arms  has  meager  charms 

To  men  of  modem  views. 
Yet  were  it  mint  to  make  design, 

I  know  which  one  I'd  choose: 
An  open  purse,  with  this  device, 
"He  never,  never  asks  the  price." 

Is  Heaven  a  state,  a  place,  a  fSte, 

A  rapture,  or  a  rest? 
The  question's  old  and  each  may  hold 

His  own  opinion  best; 
Bat  my  idea  of  Pua^Bae 
la  vAwa  oiM  netd  aot  ask  the  pricti 


(nS) 


GRANDMOTHER'S  SONG. 

RANDMOTHER'S  voice  was  always  mild. 
And  at  everyday  troubles  she  always  smiled; 

For  ihe  used  to  say 

Frowns  didn't  pay. 
As  she  had  learned  when  tiie  merest  child. 
So  whenever  we  cried  for  a  fancied  wrong. 
Grandmother  used  to  sing  this  song: 

"To-day,  to-day. 

Let's  all  be  gay; 

To-morrow 

We  may  sorrow. 

My  dear,  don't  fret 

For  what's  not  yet; 
For  you  make  a  trouble  dou!>le  when  you  borrow." 

Ah  mei  'tis  many  a  lonesome  year 

Sine*  granteotiier's  song  has  rcadiad  my  aar; 

And  I  sigh  my  si^ii 

For  the  days  gone  by. 
For  you  went  with  them,  grandmother  dear. 
But  I  still  have  left  your  quaint  old  vmg, 
AiaA  I  shall  ring  it  and  paaa  alosg: 

"To-day,  to-day, 

Let's  all  be  gay; 

To-morrow 

We  may  sorrow. 

My  dear,  dont  fr«t 

For  what's  not  yet; 
For  you  make  a  trouble  double  when  you  borrow." 
(ns) 


I 


THB  DEAR  LITTLE  FOOL. 

ACH  man  is  a  master  in  a  school— 

Heigh  ho,  my  deary! 

Where  he  trains  himself  to  be  a  fool- 
Folly  is  so  cheery. 

And  he  trains  him  well  and  he  trains  him  long, 

He  trains  him  true  and  he  trains  him  strong; 

And  this  is  the  burden  of  my  song- 
Wit  and  wisdom  weary. 


The  man  finds  ont  that  he's  a  fool- 

Heigh  ho,  my  deary! 
And  puts  himself  on  the  dunce's  stool — 

Folly  grows  a-weary. 
And  he  says  to  himself,  "You  beast,  yoa  worm! 
You're  the  biggest  fool  Tve  had  this  tarm." 
And  he  laughs  to  see  the  poor  fool  squirm — 

Wisdom  is  so  cheery. 


He  sets  down  many  a  sapient  rule— 

Heigh  ho,  my  deary! 
For  the  future  course  of  the  wretched  fool — 

Folly  is  so  weary. 
And  the  poor  little  fool,  he  says:  "Ah,  me  I 
That  I  was  a  fool  I  plainly  see. 
But  never  again  such  a  fool  111  be!**— 

Wisdom  is  so  cheery, 
(lao) 


Folly  is  so  cheery. 
And  the  little  fool  says:  "Oh,  master  dear, 
This  never  is  long,  and  the  world  is  drear! 
Let  me  loose!  let  me  loose,  and  have  no  fear!" 

Wit  and  wisdom  weary. 

The  dear  little  fool,  he  has  his  way — 

Folly  is  so  cheery! 
The  good  man  langhs  that  the  fool  is  gay^ 

Wit  and  wisdom  weary; 
Till  he  finds  that  the  fool  is  really  he, 
And  the  stronger  the  fool  the  worse  when  free, 
And  again  he  groans,  "Ah,  woe  is  raef*— 

Heigh  ho,  my  dearyl 


(Ml) 


THE  MINOR  ROLE. 

OFT  have  you  seen  a  star  upon  the  stage 
Uttering  his  transports  of  despair  or  rage. 
Until  the  whole  house  wondered  at  his  skill 
And  thundered  plaudits  with  a  hearty  wilL 
But  did  you  note  that  other  player  there 
Who  watched  the  leading  actor's  mock  despair, 
Who  had  no  line  to  speak,  or  work  to  do. 
Yet  who  was  there  to  make  the  background  truei 
Whose  every  thought  must  aid  (as  each  might  mar) 
The  bright  effulgence  of  the  flaming  star? 
And  did  you  stop  to  think  his  thankless  part 
Of  doing  nothing  took  tin  greater  art? 

'TIS  so  in  I'fe.  We  oftentimta  adndre 
The  man  whom  nothing  seems  to  daunt  or  tire. 
Whose  energies  are  like  battalions  hurled 
Against  his  foe  (and  audience  I)  the  world. 
You  hardly  note  that  other  actor  there, 
That  woman  of  hia  honsehold— and  his  care, 
Who  can  do  nothing  more,  nor  would  do  less, 
Than  live  the  background  of  his  life's  success — 
A  waiting,  watching,  suffering,  silent  smd. 
Without  the  outlet  of  a  leading  role. 
And  aore  am  I  her  patient,  minor  part, 
Doomed  to  do  nothing,  takaa  the  greater  heart 


(133) 


K  I  M  B  8 


TO   BB  RBAD. 

 r 


PANACEA. 

TT'S  no  great  oddity 

^   That  one  commoAtjr 
Haa  auch  demand 
Throagfaont  the  land. 
You  know  what  it  is,  I  think.   Ah  yea, 
It  la  nothing  more  and  nothing  leas 
Than  •  doidbla  X  brand  of  happinaaa. 


Now  think  what  a  place  this  world  would  ba. 
What  a  jolly  old  place  for  you  and  me, 
What  a  wonderful  place  if  yaa  and  I 
Would  only  try 

To  meet  th«  donand  with  •  oartida  aiqq^jr. 

Consider,  my  son, 

How  easily  done. 

To  make  one  happy,  only  one; 

A  father,  mother, 

Biatar,  tntomtt 

Or  if  tiiey  be  aoppUed,  why  then  aome  otiier. 


And,  my  daughter,  aee 

How  well  'twould  be. 

Why,  the  thing  is  as  plain  as  A  B  CI 

If  each  of  us  were  engaged  in  keeping 

Om  happy  aoul  from  tem  to  alaa^ng. 


(laa) 


If  each  of  us  were  busy  in  making 
One  soul  pcactful  from  dusk  to  waking. 
What  •  bappy  old  piac*  tbia  world  would  be, 
What  a  jolly  «Ad  place  for  yoa  and  mel 

And  if  every  one  else  then  did  the  same. 
Why  wouldn't  it  be  the  cleverest  game? 
But,  pray,  don't  try 

To  oversupply 

Somebody  already  floating  high. 

'Tis  the  sinking  wretch  we  need  to  save. 

And  not  the  one  on  the  topmost  wave. 

And  remember,  too. 

This  much — that  you 

And  I  will  profit  by  what  we  do. 

'Tis  a  curiour  fact,  but  past  all  doubt, 

That  the  more  of  happiness  one  gives  out 

The  more  he  hat  left  and  the  mora  his  powers. 

As  the  gardener  strips  a  bed  of  flowers 

That  more  shall  bloom,  so  strip  your  soul 

That  another's  happiness  be  made  whole. 

And  lo!  in  the  quick-winged  second  after, 

m*  fiUad  wMi  th«  blooms  of  lore  and  laughter. 


\ 


DO: 


BUT  O.  BOYS.  KNOW,  BOY8. 


'pHERE'S  •  certain  lort  of  pleasure  in  a  min- 
*     gling  with  the  boyt, 

In  keeping  up  your  end  of  it  and  adding  to  the 
noiia 

With 
"FiUthaciv 

And  lift  it  up 

To  every  gallant  tool  of  us. 
IMnkI  drink,  my  men,  and  com*  agirinl  tiM  devil 

guards  the  whole  of  usl" 
There's  a  pleasing  palpitation  to  the  liquid  of  the 
jugs. 

As  it  mingles  with  the  music  of  the  clinking  of  the 
mugs; 

There's  a  pretty,  pleadng  popping. 
Whan  the  botties  are  unstopping. 
And  a  fixzy  fascinatioa  cariiea  Mij  to  its  teigbt 
But  O,  boys, 

Know,  bcyi 
That  f(dly  has  its  fli^^ 
And  a  greater  fascination 
Is  a  healthy,  clean  sensation 

That  your  brain  is  still  in  session  and  your  eye  is 

clear  and  Mght, 
When  the  time  comes  for  waking  in  the  morning. 


(1*5) 


Thcrt't  •  ccrtaiii  lert  of  pltMW*  in  the  ffqretjr  ot 

girls, 

In  the  pat  of  pretty  fingers,  in  tht  bnuh  ol  benttjr's 
curls. 

With 
"Here's  •  gUss 

To  may  lass 

Who  offers  tempting  lips  to  uti 
lb*  night  is  kind,  the  world  is  blind,  so  who  can 

debit  slips  to  us?" 
There's  •  certain  fasdnatim  in  the  giddiness  of 
guile, 

There's  a  certain  strange  temptation  in  the  widnd* 

ness  of  wile, 
When  the  wicked  wit  is  dashing 
And  the  wicked  smiles  are  flashing. 
So  if  all  the  world  be  wicked,  is  our  wicksdaaii 

amiss? 

But  O,  boys, 

Know,  boy*— 
There  comes  an  end  to  this 
And  a  higher  fascination. 
And  a  wholesomer  sensation, 
la  to  realize  your  %s  are  clean  and  wortiiy  of  1h» 

kiss 

Of  a  sweetiicart,  wife,  or  mother  in  the  morning. 


<ia6) 


t 


A  HITCH  BBHIND. 

QBE  tlMm  tbare  boys  a-crawUn' 
^    up  tfwt  long  hill  and  haulin* 
Their  sleds?  A-illppin',  fallin'» 
A-puffin',  laughin',  bawlin'? 

iu^J^^"*'  •hootfai'  down  the  alepe 

iTMMd  eel.  in  a  barrel  o'  .oapT^ 

aT..^^.'??*  ^  you*"  find 

A  batch  of  feUera  of  a  different  kind, 
jMt  narberaUy  waitin'  fer  a  hitch  behind. 

0«wHn'  op  h  M.  work.  An'  you  soon  learn 
That  all  you  gic  fer  work  you  more  than  earn. 
O  course  sometirnes  one  of  the  strongest  chaps 
May  have  the  easiest  sled  to  poll,  perhaps 
Aatttn,  youTl  see  some  heavy  bob 

BAIiid  a  kid  too  Utde  fer  the  job, 
But  stiU  he  plugs  ahead,  not  bein'  the  kind 
To  stand  'round  waitin'  fer  a  hitch  behind. 

i^'  didte*  down  U  spendin'.  Once  your  sled 
Gits  on  the  slope  and  finds  it  has  its  headL 
There  ain't  no  use  a-diggin'  in  your  toes. 
A  sled  was  made  to  go  an*  bbmel  She  goes. 
Srae  w^  with  money,  'ceptin'  it's  the  kind 
*w  cm  Hi  motfam  from  a  hitch  behind. 

<"7) 


'1 ' 


3 


Per  hitch-behinderi  are  two  sorts.   Some's  so  sll- 
fired 

Luy  thsy  won't  climb.  ThsjrH  be  too  tired 
To  dun*  tfie  hhchM  op  when  Utdm  cemt, 
'Ceptin'  they're  ice-wagons.   Then  there's  soiM 
That  let  the  workin'-wagons  go,  and  hitch 
Onto  the  double-bob  "The  Public."  which 
It  dnwvd  by  two  old  r'^ug*  called  You  and  lie. 
And  drove  by  Unde  Sammy.  Some  day,  he 
May  git  a  cure  fer  bein'  deaf  and  blind 
And  awing  hia  black-anake  at  them  kids  behind. 


(138) 


A  WATCHWOSD 


TXTHEN  yoa  ind  a  etrtaia  lack 

In  the  atiffneu  of  your 
At  a  thrMtmied  fierce  attack. 
Juat  the  hour 

That  you  need  your  every  power. 
Look  a  bit 

For  a  dioaght  to  bafile  it. 
Jmt  rocall  that  every  knave. 
Every  coward,  caa  bt  brav* 
Till  the  time 

That  hi*  couraga  dioBld  ba 
Then 't  it  Bed. 
Keep  yonr  headi 

What  a  folly  't  is  to  lose  it 
Just  the-  time  you  want  to  use  it  I 

Vfhui  the  ghost  of  some  old  shirk 
Cmnea  to  pi  ^e  you.  and  to  lurk 
In  your  study  or  yew  work. 
Here 's  a  hit 

Like  enough  will  settle  it 

Knowledge  is  a  worthy  prise; 

Knofrfedge  cornea  to  him  who  trie»~ 

Whose  endeavor 

Ceases  never. 

Everybody  would  ba  wiaa 

Aa  hia  ndghbor, 

Wara  it  not  that  they  w^o  labor, 


RIMES    TO    BE  READ 


For  the  trophy  creep,  creep,  creep. 

While  the  others  lag  or  sleep; 

And  the  sun  comes  up  some  day 

To  behold  one  on  his  way 

Fast  the  goal 

Which  the  soul 

Of  another  has  desired, 

Bnt  lAumt  motto  ivai,  "I 'm  tind" 

When  the  task  of  keeping  guard 

Of  your  heart — 

Keeping  weary  watch  and  ward 

Of  the  part 

You  are  called  upon  to  play 
Every  day- 
Is  becoming  dry  and  hard, — 
Conscience  languid,  virtue  irksome. 
Good  behavior  growing  woricsome^ 
Think  this  thought: 
Donbtleas  everybody  coold, 
Doubtless  everybody  would. 
Be  superlatively  good, 
Were  it  not 

That  it  's  harder  keeping  straight 
Than  it  is  to  deviate; 

And  to  keep  the  way  of  right. 
You  must  have  the  pluck  to  fight 


K  I  M  B  S   TO    BE  RE 


THE  REFORMER. 

T  KNOW  a  philosopher,  learned  and  read, 
^      Who,  in  viewing  the  world,  seems  to  stand  on 
his  head, 

He  pities  the  poor  and  goes  in  for  reform. 
Convinced  he  can  keep  the  world  comfy  and  warm. 
If  he  keeps  the  thermometer  out  of  the  storm. 

Having  heard  how  the  ostrich  has  cleverly  planned 
To  hide  by  concealing  his  head  in  the  sand, 
He  holds  that  a  scheme  would  be  valid  and  wise 
To  protect  it  forever  from  hunt  and  surprise 
By  catching  the  ostrich  and  searing  its  eyes. 

He  marvels  that  men  should  so  bargain  and  dicktf 
To  be  governed  at  last  by  an  imbecile  ticksr. 
So  he  has  invented  one,  run  by  a  clock; 
Set  fast,  it  will  "boost,"  or  set  slow,  it  will  "knock," 
And  thus  you  can  bull  or  can  bear  any  stock. 

In  elections  he  claims  that  the  office  should  go 
Not  to  him  with  the  high  vote,  but  him  with  the 
low. 

To  be  voted  unpooular  surely  is  tough. 

So  the  office  should  go  to  console  the  rebuff. 
While  the  man  who  succeeds  is  rewarded  enough. 

He  holds  that  a  criminal  ought  to  do  *<«!^» 
Btfor*,  and  not  after,  committing  tiie  criiM. 
(131) 


R  I  M  B  S  TO 


"Plain  drunk"  would  be  giv<rn  a  month  to  be  fitted; 
Ten  years  and  a  burglary  might  be  permitted; 
WhUe  murderers  first  would  be  hung,  then  ac- 
qnitted. 

You  laugh  at  this  mortal?  I  laugh  at  him,  too; 
He  reminds  me  so  much  of  myself— «nd  of  you. 
Ob,  rm  rare  the  world's  sick  and  it  needs  a  phy. 
sidan. 

Bat  if  I  be  the  doctor  to  fill  the  position, 

The  fae  coring  me  cores  the  patient's  condition  I 


RIMES   TO   BE  K 


"HONOR." 

PACK  of  dogs  were  sunning  and  napping. 
Well-fed,  satisfied,  glad  dogs; 
Suddenly,  up  sprang,  snarling  and  ■napping, 

lU-bred,  villified,  mad  dogs. 
Some  one  had  flung  them  a  musty  bone, 
And  the  chorus  cried,  "It  is  mine;  my  own." 
"  'Tis  mine,  I  claim,  for  I  saw  it  first." 
"  'Tis  mine,  say  I,  for  I  need  it  worst." 
Quarreling  and  snarling,  they  leaped  to  fight, 
Yowling  and  growling,  their  teeth  snapped  tight, 
Till  each  had  lost  of  his  quivering  flesh 
More  meat  than  the  bone  had  held  when  fresht 
They  roUed  themselves  in  the  muck  and  mud; 
They  lost  didr  bone  and  «iey  lost  their  blood. 
But  on  they  fought,  for,  be  it  known, 
It  is  doggish  honor  to  fight  for  a  bone. 

A  goose  flew  into  a  neighbor's  yard 

And  left  an  egg  as  a  calling  card. 

^The  egg  is  mine,  for  my  goose  made  it,* 

"  'Tis  mine,  for  on  my  land  she  laid  it" 

A  look,  a  word,  a  threat,  a  wrangla, 

A  suit  at  law.  a  legal  tani^ 

Dedrion,  dissent,  appeal,  reversal, 

A  re-appeal  and  a  re-rehearsal. 

The  egg  grew  stale,  the  case  grew  rotten. 

Tha  goosa  wu  dtad  and  long  forgouau. 


Oss) 


DO. 


But  still  the  antagonists  litigated. 

While  the  lawyers  smiled  and  the  judges  prated. 

Though  all  their  driest  lore,  or  juiciest, 

Could  not  decide  which  goose  was  goosiest. 

Yet  still  they  fought,  for,  be  it  known, 

'Tis  a  point  of  honor  to  "guard  ons's  own." 

The  Powers  of  the  Earth  discussing  whether 
They  might  not  eternally  dwell  together 
With  peace,  good  humor  and  good  digestion. 
Were  suddenly  stirred  by  a  grievous  question. 
An  egg,  or  a  bone,  produced  the  foment, 
Or,  anyway,  something  of  equal  moment. 
"Tut!  the  question  is  one  of  the  merest  trifles. 
(Well  rush  our  order  for  newer  rifles.") 
"Dear  cousin  of  ours,  we  are  more  than  brothers, 
(Have  you   noticed   our   navy?    There   are  no 
others.") 

"Good  friend,  our  affection  ia  deep  and  holy. 
(Do  you  think  these  gnna  ««  onuanenta  solely?") 
O,  dogs  will  be  dogs  when  they  come  to  a  bone. 
And  men  may  be  geese,  as  a  goose  has  shown, 
And  it's  national  "honor"  to  go  to  war 
Over  something  that  isn't  worth  fighting  fmrl 


(»S4) 


RIMES   TO   BB  READ. 


DEAR  MOTHER  EARTH. 

^BAR  Motiier  Earth,  full  oft  I  long 
To  sing  thy  praises  in  a  song; 
I  ache  to  lay  me  down  to  rest 
Somewhere  upon  thy  yielding  breast. 
To  turn  my  p«vement>wearied  feet 
Beyond  the  seeming  endless  street, 
And  seek  some  dimpled  country  place, 
Half  cool,  half  warm,  for  thy  embrace; 
Then  kiss  thee,  prone  upon  my  face. 
Dear  Mother  EarthI 

Like  old  Antaeus  long  ago, 
Whose  strength  surged  up  from  earth  below, 
I  feel  there  is  a  peace  in  thee. 
Which  thou  dost  whiq>er  unto  me. 
When  thus  I  press  Aee,  cheek  to  check. 
Thou  art  so  strong  and  I  so  weak; 
And  some  time  there  shall  come  a  day 
When  tender,  trembling  hands  shall  lay 
Me  deep,  to  mingle  with  thy  day. 
Dear  Mother  Eartiit 

Thy  gift  to  me  shall  come  to  thee, 
And  as  thou  art,  so  shall  I  be. 
I  owe  thee  all,  and  so  must  try 
To  make  thee  better  ere  I  (Be; 
And  as  we  twain  are  one,  I  see 
To  better  self  may  better  thee. 


RIMES   TO    BE  READ. 

D  (T  ~~ 


DOMESTICATED  GENIUS. 

T  AM  not  up  on  artist's  gush; 
^     I  can't  Improve  die  rose's  fludt," 
Nor  yet  "so  paint  the  woodland  thrush 

That  one  may  hear  it  sing;" 
But  let  me  own  without  a  UBsh, 
I  swing  a  very  pr^'ty  brush 

On  window  screens  in  spring. 

I  own  I've  no  desire  to  meet 
A  foreign  foe,  in  field,  or  fleet; 
I'm  free  to  say  I  might  retreat, 

B  I  were  left  on  guard; 
Yet  many  a  man  might  find  defeat. 
If  matched  against  me,  as  I  beat 

The  mgs  in  our  tack  yard. 

I  seldom  sedc  a  grassy  ground 

And  seize  a  shinny-stick  to  pound 
A  marble  from  a  little  mound 

In  token  of  my  power; 
Far  greater  glory  I  have  found. 
For  I  can  push  the  mower  "^oaad 

Our  lawn  in  just  one  hour. 

I'm  not  familiar  with  the  gear 
Of  touring  cars.  I  could  not  steer 
The  empnOt  on  its  career 


RIMBS   TO   BE  READ. 


And  dodge  the  rut  and  rock; 
But  you  would  own  I'vo  tcarco  •  poor. 
If  yon  ihoald  Mt  ta»  enginMr 

Tbo  go-cart  'nmd  fb»  Mock. 

I'm  not  of  thoM  who  "fought  and  VMf 
My  fame  has  never  widely  q>read: 
My  qualitim  of  heart  and  head 

Are  very  often  doubted; 
But  o'er  my  bones  let  this  be  said— 
That  I've  fixed  up  an  onion  bed, 

And,  Heaven  b«  praiaadi  it'a  aproutad. 


(X40) 


THE  SIGNS  OP  THE  ZODIAC 

(A  Modern  Interpretation.) 

OAOITTARIUS.  Otherwiw 
*^  Cnpid.  in  •  thin  ditgoiM. 

Virgo,  the  maiden.  She  and  I 
TrotteaHtt.  Happy?  Mjrl 

Ubra.  First  dedgnt  of  Fate; 
Qroear  faib  to  give  feu  weight. 

Taurus.  Increased  dasfm  lorit. 
Beef  tmst  bow  bagias  to  work. 

Aries.   Fails  to  bring  relief; 
Mutton  follows  price  of  baef. 

Places.  Fish  trust  Itching  fin. 
Finds  my  pocket   Thrusts  it  in. 

A^iarina.  Water  tnnwd  to  ica 
Mffsna.  Ateo  doaa  lha  priea. 


Scorpio.  Rot  tnA  That  means  coal; 
What!  op  Ughar?  Beaaa^aoall 

Leo.    Thangti  I  ggaka  • 

Things  go  19  a  Uttfe 

(141) 


THB  LOiv  «p  couimy. 

(As  It  Ito  Oftvn  Is  At  PrsMnt.) 

r%  EEP  in  the  heart  of  every  man  the  love  of 
^    country  lies, 

H«  btwtth—  it  with  Ua  bdbjr  bnMli}  tt  Ui«Ks  «ttl  be 

So  X  love  the  land  we  liv  .  every  tittle,  every  jot, 
mtfi  •  preferential  feel      /     a  Broadway  coracr 


I  sigh 

To  manipulate  a  e«tMr  of  the  visible  supply. 

I  tov*  At  loftgr  mwmitains,  and  I  feel  my  heart  wffl 

SMwing  I  might  omi  tMr  ttmmmt  M  X  of^y 
f  «and  it  fint. 


And  ROl  ilSM  oar  ceuatry  and  ita  greatness  I 

revere, 

But  I  hold  the  very  emblems  of  its  privileges  dear. 
llMhinks  the  vMim  IBrntw  wnM  tooA  •  havt 
of  Oat, 

So  bMHiflfiilljr  Muved  upon  the  product  of  the 

BRBtl 


lot 


(MS) 


And  I  linger  o'er  itm  Latin  fnvm  oa  A*  coin's 
revene, 

¥neh!ng  that  I  had  a  '^hiribm"  of  "imtima"  in  my 

purse. 

I  love  the  spreading  eagle  with  the  lightning  in  its 
I  clutch, 

And  I  love  the  double  eagle  juat  precisely  twice  aa 
mncht 

t 

I  j  Then  the  patriota  and  dw  aagea— 4iat  long  and  no- 

l  ble  line — 

f  I  would  that  a  collection  of  their  likenesses  wtre 

!  '  minel 

I  love  the  Grant  and  Lincoln  on  the  crisp  or  crum- 
pled "one," 

And  on  the  "two"  I  cherish  tin  banuMtal  Wadibig- 

ton. 

I  love  the  Franklin  on  the  "ten,"  the  Garfield  on 
L  the  "five," 

And  I  love  the  noble  red  man  better  there  than  if 
I  alive. 

The  hero  on  tiia  "twmty,"  too,  la  strangely  daar  to 
me, 

I ;  But  who  ha  ia,  aba!  Z  aaMom  hava  a  dMnea  to 

f  see. 

Yes,  I  honor  all  the  heroes  who  are  turned  to  com- 
mon  clay, 

And  my  soul  is  filled  with  gratituda  Vm  not  aa 
dead  as  tbay. 

(144) 


1 


Ttt  whfle  Htuy  Ihred  Obey  uMj  Iranditd  oar  gSofU 

ous  Ship  of  State; 
And  I  wish  I  had  the  contract  to  supply  her  armor- 

In  God  we  trust"  they  placed  upon  oar  eoiaago, 

which  is  why 

In  man  we  wiil  not  trust  unless  he  has  a  good  sup< 
ply. 

From  bonds  of  foreign  tyranny  they  bravely  set  ns 
free, 

And  bonds  of  Uncle  Sam  arc  good  odooi^  for  fM 
•ad  ma. 


RIMES   TO   BB  RBAD 


AT  A  RAILROAD  JUNCTION. 

LOI  HERE  am  I  at  Junction  Town, 
At  slow  and  woful  Junction  Town, 
Where  devils  laugh  and  angela  frown 
To  see  a  traveler  set  df«wn; 
Where  trains  run  mly  wi' j  •  view 
To  help  a  restaurant  or  two; 
Where  rusty  rails  and  barren  bourtfl 
Are  all  the  point  of  view  affords. 
But  O,  the  barren  board  of  all 
Is  that  within  that  eating-stall  I 
Yes,  stall,  I  said,  %nd  well  deserved 
The  name!  where  beastly  feed  is  •enr«& 
And  so  I  say  wtihout  comptmctioii 
My  curses  on  this  Railroad  Junction. 

What  shall  I  do  at  Junction  Town? 
At  draar  and  weary  Junction  Town? 
The  martyr's  cross  withcmt  the  crown 
Awaits  the  stranger  here  set  down. 
O,  one  may  wait  and  wait  and  wait, 
Or  one  may  rail  against  hia  fata. 
Or  eyes  and  tart  nay  strain  and  Mndob 
As  later,  later  grows  the  train. 
The  while  the  lagging  minutes  mock 
His  witless  watching  of  the  clock; 
Or  one  may  watch  the  station  clerk 
Parfononiog  his  ratcndast  woA. 


(146) 


O,  wntditd  man,  of  wrctdied  fmetioa, 
Biiiting     tidi  Stflrosd  Jonetioal 

God's  pity  on  this  Junction  Town, 

This  dead  and  dreadful  Junctioii  Towal 

O,  what  nepenthe- well  can  drown 

The  cares  of  travelers  here  set  down. 

The  thought  may  give  some  passing  cheer 

One  may  escape  within  a  year, 

Or  else  the  sentence  be  commoted 

And  only  deatib  be  raeealidi 

And  if 't  be  so,  I  only  pray 

There  be  no  Resurrection  Day, 

For  think  of  Gabriel  coming  down 

And  finding  one  at  Jonctioii  Townl 

And  ao  X  wKf,  wlA  fervant  iiiicthwi» 

uosb  fmSf  on  ma  jwohi  juiuiUwi 


(147) 


THB  WOMAN  WITH  THB  POT  0»  PAINT 

fj  OW  riacfl  vp  tiie  woman  witii  a  purpose  in  her 
*^  face 

And  "touches  up"  the  various  belongings  of  the 
place. 

A  red  it  on  her  ahoulder  whar*  aha  alid  bar  alaara 
on  high, 

A  yellow  on  h*r  tanqda  whtn  aha  triad  to  wipe  bar 

eye; 

The  baby's  face  ia  waSad  wlwra  it  wvnt  i«irfaat  ^ 
acraan. 

And  p^'a  Sunday  treoaara  have  a  aeat  of  vivid 
green. 

But  the  woman  with  the  pot  o*  paint,  unconscious  of 
her  blame, 

StiU  "touchaa  up"  tha  variona  balongini^  joat  tiia 


Not  hers  the  languid  landscape,  or  monotonoua  ma- 
rine. 

Not  hara  flw  china  aat  badaabad  widi  giddy  ff^ 
tuti  gtaaii. 

Not  hers  the  "chrome"  aad  "kdM"  from  out  a  tAt 

of  squeezy  lead. 
Upon  a  palette  duibad  mi  wiA  a  mooaa'a  iriddMr 

apraad. 

Nay,  nay,  tha  can  of  color  of  an  honest  primal  boa, 
Aad  ban,  tba  brodi  aa  aptaattag  aa  a  bon^  tail  or 
two; 

(Mt) 


Then  pick  her  out  a  lonewMM  dqr  and  let  her  have 
full  iwing. 

And  the  woman  with  the  paint-pot  is  the  terror  of 

O,  Kaphael  was  rapid  and  his  genius  was  intense. 
Bat  he  couldn't  put  mora  paint  than  coald  the 

wonuui  oa  a  fence. 
And  cunning  was  Hm  ctdoring  ot  Titian  and  Ua 

brush. 

But  the  c<dors  of  tiis  woman  woold  have  ptt  Um  to 
the  blush. 

Michael  Angelo  was  noted  for  his  daring,  it  is  said. 

But  did  he  ever  dare  to  paint  a  china  door-knob  red? 
Booheur  could  paint  a  powerful  horse  or  gentle- 
iiMwIy  cow. 

Bat  you  ought  to  see  tfM  printed  art  diet's  VMag 
with  us  now! 


(M9) 


BLACK  AND  TAN. 

MISS  Barbara  Bla^  a  wuwn  Uond. 
Bemoans  her  visage,  pale  tad  ivmaad, 

And  strives  by  every  plan 
To  compass  her  supreme  desire, 
Seen  in  her  struoiea  to  acquire 

A  coat  of  ridMit  tan. 

Miss  Lily  White,  a  "bright  brunette," 
Disdains  her  locks  of  cnriy  Jat 

And  African  descent. 
True  happiness  she  may  not  reach. 
Because  her  hue  will  never  bloach, 

Say  ninety-five  per  cent 

Now,  if  aona  adantific  crack 

Could  bleach  Mlaa  White  and  tan  Wm  Bladt, 

His  fame  would  surely  shine. 
But,  oh  I  suppose  the  learned  man 
Should  equalize  their  black  and  tUl 

And  lose  the  color  linel 


(ISO) 


THE  SUPERIOR  VIEW. 

ES,  PUto's  works  were  good,  for  he  was  clever 
*     in  a  way, 

But  they're  hardly  ever  in  th«  "sis  beat  seUera"  ot 
to-day: 

And  Shakespeare  had  a  certain  popularity,  no  doubt, 
But  he  hasn't  published  lately  and  I  guess  he's 
written  out; 

And  aa  for  Hmnar,  really,  d<m't  you  tiiink  ha  wu  • 
ahUB? 

Why,  it^  deobtM  tf  bt  avar  avM  i*ro«a  •  talagriB. 


Yes,  Alexander's  armies  showed  a  certain  aort  of 

skiU, 

But  hia  knoidadge  of  artillery  waa  pratty  nearly  niL 
Napoleon  rode  roughly  over  half  a  hemisphere. 
But  he  never  rode  an  auto  in  all  of  his  career; 
And  Caesar  was  courageoua  in  vidaaitudes  of  war. 
But  ha  navar  had  Aa  futltuida  to  Jump  s  troD^f^ 
car. 


Yea,  Paginini  knew  the  way  to  swing  a  fiAUa  bow, 
Bm  coold  he  swing  Ibe  velara  of  Ua  pradact,  da 
yon  know? 

And  Raphael  coaM  celw  wiA  a  very  pretty  touch, 
Bm  his  drawingi  a«vtr  figarad  fai  Urn  wupm  vwy 

much, 

(ifl) 


KIMBt   TO   BB  BBAD 


And  Phidias  eettU  Md  •  PtfUwaea  in  MttOf 
•tyle, 

Bat  I'd  nthtr  haf  ajr  momf  kt  a  modm  «Am 


Yea,  Moses  was  a  clever  organiser  for  his  date, 
But  he  never  tried  to  organise  a         Th'r  i^yndi* 
cate; 

And  Socrates'  pMoaopigr  has  baea  ■■Hsiinil  «^ 

lime. 

Bat  he  never  asked  lor  waabw  ttat  tmn  *^utf* 
all  the  time; 

And  as  for  Father  Adaoi.  iriqp,  whatevw  Bva  weald 
bake. 

He  never  dared  to  hint  of  things  hia  mother  naed 
to  oMhal 


(>Si) 


THl  ORQAN  ORINDBR. 


ITS  itandt  oatrfd*       window  in  tin  itrMt, 
A  humble  minstrel  of  •  dozen  layi, 

A  memory  of  simpUr,  hi^pitr  dajri. 

Dear  Home,  SwMk  tSMm,"  aad  WHOmi  HmK' 
(Mritet" 

I  <Bd  not  know  Adr  mode  wu  no  tweet; 
TIm  'Washerwoman"  and  the  "Marsellaise," 
I  know  not  which  should  have  my  highest  praise, 

Weary  of  Wagner  and  his  tnri^d  notMb 

Of  florid  Verdi's  acrobatic  throats, 

I  revel  in  this  arm-delivered  air. 

Which  vrtiips  a  score  <rf  years  from  Mt  ny 

Refills  me  with  a  babbling  boy's  delight. 

And  leaves  na  scant  of  pennies  and  of  care. 


<1M) 


OUVBR  HAZARD  PBRRY. 

iiTXTE'VB  BMt  tiM  enemy  and  they  are  ours; 
* *     Two  Aift  two  brigi,  OM  ■chooaer 


Hit  words  charge  down  the  sreara— •  warlika  groaVb 
Qrita,  fallant,  i^orioual  All  the  flowen 
Matured  bjr  ■nsuner  tuna  and  autunui  ahowera 

We  use  to  deck  the  memory  of  that  group, 
Born  of  the  timea  when  bannera  rise  or  droop 

Bat  look  tfion,  Perryl  gallant  nan  and  tmel 

See'st  thou  that  smoke  of  commerce,  not  of  war? 
Rejoice  with  us  that  now  no  battles  mar. 
And  now  there  is  no  work  for  thee  to  do; 
No  lookout's  eye  sights  carnage  from  afar; 
No  dtemal  red  is  mised  widi  Eria^a  Una. 


and  one  sloop.' 


t. 


(154) 


THB  TmSTY-THIRD  DIOSBB. 

NOV/  vntf  tiling  ttel  XaaMU  «d,  b*  «d  Us  bwt 
to  Ttinttn 

And  OM  dijr  ht  dtddtd  Oat  he'd  UIm  to  b<  a 
Mason. 

But  nothing  elie  would  rait  him  and  notliing  leaa 

would  please, 
Bnt  ha  moat  tain  and  all  at  onea  tha  thirty-dnaa 

dagraaal 

Well,  he  rode  the— oh,  that  is,  he— really  I  can't 
telL 

Yon  either  mustn't  know  at  all,  m  else  know  very 
wdL 

Ba  dived  into  well,  aavar  aoiiid.  It  only  need  ba 
aaid 

Tbat  aowawhara  in  the  last  degree,  poov  SBaaau 
dropped  down  daadi 

They  arrested  all  tha  Maaena  and  tfiqr  atayad  in 
durance  vile. 

m  tile  jury  found  them  "Gniity"  «diaa  Aa  Jodgs 

aaid  with  a  smile, 
Tra  forced  to  let  tfie  prisoners  go,  for  I  can  find," 

said  he, 

"No  penalty  for  murder  in  the  thirty-third  degr* 


OTTO  AND  THE  AUTO. 


t'T^  IS  strangt  fashion  makei  ui  changf  he 


*    obi«ctg  we  admire: 
W«  VMcd  to  sing  tiM  tintaw  Mad,  bat  now  tlw 

■tecditw  tire. 
So  Otto  bought  an  nw i,  so      not  to  be  antique. 
But  tb«  thing  wm  autocratic,  as  well  at  automatic, 
Aad  tfM  wt*  mwAimt  mm  m  It  oogM  to,  ao  to 


Ha  thought  to  hir«  an  auto-oparator  tor  the  work, 
Aod  firtt  h«  Uiad  •  rifrna  mm  ami  tea  iw  htoatf  a 
Turk, 

For  he  knew  tite  drcaa-nwi  droiv*  fifty  horaea  wMi 
succeat, 

And  if  a  noan  be  ahilty  enough  to  manage  fifty, 

palpable  enoa|^  ha  might  to  maga  one 
hoiria  lata  I 


As  for  the  Turk,  'tis  also  pMn,  deny  it  if  you  can. 
He  ought  to  run  an  auto,  for  a  Turk's  an  Ottoam. 
"Twas  all  in  vain;  so  Otto  mo*^  to  Alabana,  pmi^ 
That  he  might  say,  "I'm  Otto  from  Mobile,  and  my 

motto: 

'A  Mobile  Otto   ought  to  mr   an  automobile 


awa^r" 


(1S«) 


KXMXt    TO   mm  FIAD. 


So  )tto  ought  to  «uto  on  the  auto  he  ought  to, 
Bvt  -li-  atiio     -sni  to  aoto  M  Otto  atm  tkongbt 

Thor  C-«&  .»      bet,  oh,  Torjr  holt  m  hm  Mfkt 

to, 

Aad  u  t.  laid     Thia  aak*  OBght  to  as  o  aad  ilfli 

G  >.  dM        tat  the  aMa  li  Imi|^ 

Otto, 

ikr  Mto  also  got  too  hot  to  aoto  aa  it  fmgilt  ta^ 
tber  Great  Scott t  that  aato  ahet  'o  hMW«« 
BO  Olto— 
^ere  Otto'a  aMo  aMoa  aaar  aa  Ona^i  aat*  wt^lk 

to. 


(tS7) 


C3 

\ 


LBNTBN  PBNITBNCB. 
(A  la  Mode.) 

[N  Mck-doth  and  uhet  my  lady  prepares 
To  repent  of  hmt  tins  and  to 


She  it  fond  of  her  prayer*,  ao  her  copiet-  are  beond 
In  harmony  with  her,  however  she's  gowned, 
For  she  holds  her  Creator  should  never  be  faced 
Kawpt  Ib  bhwvc  ystftn  wMi  a  lavandMr 


la  aadMleA  and  adies  die  pmidera  afredi 

On  methods  of  penance  to  punish  the  flesh; 

And  iriiat  though  she  choose,  for  her  piety's  sake. 

The  vicarious  flesh  of  a  porterhouse  steak? 

"O  Lord,  be  Thou  merciful  unto  a  sinner" 

Wb«  bat  fialad  for  hows  and  la  Irfitt  for  bw  dfai- 


Xn  sack-^di  and  ashes,  but  if  she  prefer 
That  her  aacqoe  should  be  seal,  shoidd  Oare  b«  a 
deanv? 

Prophet  John  wore  a        (nd  our  t!Bam»  la 
colder) 

Which  draped  from  tiM  kfau,  aa  hers  drapea  iroos 

iht  shoulder. 
And  as  for  tiht  adies.  wdl.  diey  may  be  net 
Whaca  tfMgr  daated  f3m  far  from  her  kMt  cifwall 


RIMBS   TO   BB  BEAD. 


COMBDY  OR  TRAGEDY? 

\  An*  vw|iNiW(  ra^nRBT*/ 

T  SAY  I  do  not  love  you.  I  am  gay 

And  with  my  laughter  waft  your  vows  aw^Ti 
Fm  you,  yon  aay  you  love  me,  smile  and  si|^ 
And  fire  bm       A*  fervor  of  yonr 

Ah  me,  the  pity  of  our  mimic  playt 
If  only  either  of  us  did  not  lie  I 


(t«> 


RIMBl   TO   BB  RBAD. 


MY  LOVBR  SAYS. 

UE  says  I  should  not  give  a  glance 

To  other  me.-? 
But  'tis  no  gift,  for,  by  some  chance, 

XVb  mre  to  get  one  back  again— 

Or  two,  or  ten; 
Betides,  I  only  look  to  see 
If  aajr  ^  ttem  look  at  nte. 

He  says  I  ought  to  see  at  through 

My  lover's  eyes; 
But  I  reply  that  so  I  do. 
For  where  he  look*  Hmc  I  lotdi  too{ 

For  I  am  wise. 
And  know  that  he  must  look — to  ate 
Xf  UBf  of  them  look  «t  mel 


(i6o) 


Ik 


TO   B  B 


NOT  A  BIT  SUPERSTITIOUS. 

IVrO,  I  am  not  superstitioiu. 

I  consider  it  pernidoM^ 
If  not  absolutely  victoni 
In  a  nan 

To  admit  himself  so  small  that  ba  moat  aom 

Every  little  sign  and  omen 
As  the  menace  of  a  foeman. 
Still,  I'm  free  to  say  that  Friday 

would  be  my  day 
For  a  venture,  for  I'm  sure  'twould  never  htk. 
Though  I  am  not  superstitious,  not  a  bit. 

Really,  I've  no  toleration 
Of  that  nervous  hesitation 
And  that  irksome  perturbation 

Which  I've  seen. 
When  a  dinner-party  chanced  to  ba  thtitaan. 
Why,  I've  seen  that  arrant  folly 
Make  a  whole  crowd  melancholy. 
With  tiiair  iHdning  and  their  flimsy, 
Podirfi  raaaona  for  tta  wMmaey. 
StiU.  I  own  I  hate  to  be  the  last  to  sit. 
Though  I  am  not  superstitious,  not  a  bit. 

Certain  things  may  be  propttiona. 
Though  they  seem  but  adventitiaM^ 
And  it's  hardly  superstitious 
To  perceive 
Whidi  ia  iriiich,  a&d  so,  accordiai^,  hM&m 
<i6i) 


Now  there's  nothing  makes  me  sadder 

Than  to  walk  beneath  a  ladder; 

But  I  grow  a  good  deal  bolder 

When  the  mom  is  at  nqr  dionlder. 

And  to  spill  the  salt  I  It  takes  away  my  grit. 

Though  I  am  not  superstitious,  not  a  bit. 

Surely  noti  ing  can  be  clearer 
Than  that  evil  marches  nearer 
At  the  breaking  of  a  mirror. 
And  it's  tnw 
That  a  howling  dog  in  night-time  makat  ma  btaa. 
For  his  keen  scent  makes  no  errors 
And  he  smells  the  King  of  Terrors. 
Here's  another  thing.  Take  heed,  sir, 
If  year  nose  should  start  to  Ussd,  sir, 
And  dioBld  oidf  btead  Orss  Unf  mad  dm  sbeold 
qoiti 

Thoogli  I  am  not  wap&aHMmm,  not  •  bit 

It  is  odd  to  see  wiwt  iMSt 
Some  folks  make  of  vain  excnass 
Sttbar  atma  admit  abuses 

Of  the  mind. 
When  they're  ratiwr  suiWisUtiottsiy  buOmi. 
Just  to  put  it  in  plain  English; 
It  would  seem  they  can't  distinguish 
Between  false  and  foolish  cases 
And  tlie  few  which  have  a  basis 
In  ezperienc*,  which  even  I  admit, 
TlMBgh  X  aaa  Mtt  superstitiOMb  Mt  •  uliltl 
(i6s) 


SXMBt  TO   BB  BBAD. 


THE  AIMIBS  OF  THB  CORN. 


RAHF  upon  rank  they  rtood,  and  row  M  rwrj 
Plm.  .ed,  tasMled,  uniformed  in  green. 
With  rations  in  their  Iau4>sacked  buaka  between 
Hm  Bvrtad  bteaaa  tiier  teandidMd  at  tte  foe 

Long  held  the  brave  brigades  and  wAA  ml  jWd 
Till  shattered  by  the  destiny  of  War. 
Then  (^ant  tribute  from  the  conqueror!) 

Thay  ita^td  tiMir  anM  and  tMlid  OB  A*  M4. 


\  1 


! 


(163) 


INDEX. 

Adam    ?« 

Aftar.Dfamer  Apcdogy  <rf  L*  Comi*  Cn^nd  xoa 

Almost  Up    59 

Anarchist,  The    «»• 

An  Unconventional  Rustic   77 

Annies  of  the  Corn,  The  

At  a  Railroad  Junction   «48 

Beast  and  His  Burden,  The   <<< 

Befmra  Playing  Tinkertown   it 

Bladi  and  Tbi  

But  O,  Boys,  Know,  Boya   ««S 

But  They  Didn't  

Comedy  or  Tragedy?   »59 

Connor  McCarthy    *\ 

Conrtiii'  Can.  A.  ni 

Dat  Qawgy  Watahmillon   gc 

Dear  Little  Fool,  The   tto 

Dear  Mother  Eartfi   «35 

Da  Qo<^-Jack    7© 

Do«Baatic«tad  Oanfaa    «!• 

Evolution    ^ 

Fame  and  Fate   57 

"Fin  de  Kede"  

Going  Heme  to  Motiiar   (o( 

OhraateedMi^  Song    n§ 

Hero  of  the  Hill.  The   50 

Hitch  Behind,  A   "7 

"Honor"    »S8 

I'ta  Ollkd  to  Saa  You"   " 

<i«5) 


DO. 


nCDBL 

In  the  Old  SchoolhoOM   54 

Katie  «n'  Me   ff 

Labors  of  Hercules,  TIm   41 

Xitntaii  PenitraM   •  .••••..«•...•  ijti 

Litde  SBBBttr,  A.   U 

Love  of  Country,  Hm   143 

Mnor  Role,  The   taa 

Mole  of  Arkansas,  A   n| 

My  Lover  Ssys   ife 

Hatfum's  Plat    gf 

Not  a  Bit  Superstitious   z6i 

Not  a  Coon-Song  Coon   f§ 

Old  Man  Knows,  Th*   jt 

CUvar  Hasard  Percy   154 

Organ  Qriadsr,  The   133 

"Other  One  Was  Boodi,  Tha"   105 

Otto  and  the  Auto   15C 

"Our  aub"— The  Irish  Member's  Towt   n 

"Oar  LadMT'— Tha  Pocfa  Toast   m 

Panacea      t*s 

Priceless  ParadhM.  A   iiS 

Reformer,  The    tji 

Revenge    tf 

Rip  Van  vnnkla   ixa 

Signs  of  tiw  Zodae,  Tha   141 

Story  of  Old  Olory,  The   15 

Si^crior  Visw,  The  -..  sjs 

TUrtj^thM  Dagraa,  Tha.   sjg 

Unverstaendlich    87 

Watchword,  A.   jag 

Woman  with  the  Pot  o'  Pain^  Tha   14! 

Yomif  Man  Waitad,  Tba   H 


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